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Playing hard-to-get?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ruby Dragon, Oct 2, 2012.

  1. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    For a while now, I've been infatuated with a girl. I say a girl, because she's only 16. Ok, I know what everyone thinks, but it's not like that.. I'm not preying on the young and innocent, her age has nothing to do with it.

    Anyway, back to the point. We've done some mutual flirting but I think the flirting from her side was more a "bff" (best friend) thing than anything else. But obviously I read more into it, since I'm into her.

    She often sends me pictures of herself, or her pets and we chat quite a bit too. And I just feel "normal" friends don't do that (the pictures). We do horseriding together too. On Friday I was hanging around with one of my male friends and we decided to go and pick her up too. She spent the day with us and the three of us played card games together. We (male friend and I - he knows that I like her) then made up the rule that the winner of the next round gets to choose the prize. We discussed it and decided that the winner gets to kiss whoever they choose. EVERYBODY agreed. I won...

    She immediately started getting uncomfortable and that made me a bit uneasy too. But I then agreed to kiss her on her cheek only. She said that'll be fine. But after I did, I wanted those lucious lips on mine. She literally held her hand in front of her mouth and didn't want to move it away. Said she's still a "kissing virgin" and would remain so until marriage :eusa_doh: That sounds kinda stupid. I mean, she's starting the best years of life, and it's not like she'll get pregnant from a kiss :lol:

    But still she refused to let me kiss her. I said I respect her decisions and I backed off. I just can't get her off my mind. And I just don't know what to do. I'm chatting to other lesbians but it's just not the same. I guess wanting what I cannot have is what drives me most. What baffles me though is all the flirting from her side too. She always sends me virtual kisses and heart emoticons, etc. I just don't get it. Perhaps she likes the thrill of being chased and is playing hard-to-get to see how long I'm willing to fight for her? Maybe I'm just reading way too much into it and wasting my time.

    She's still so young, and maybe just going through some hormonal changes or something. But she's assured me - in so many words - that she's perfectly straight! That's what I just don't get. Why does it have to be so darn complicated? I hope this isn't a taste of what lies ahead in future relationships! It's exhausting...But the reward would be sweet
     
  2. Bree

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    She does all that because sixteen-year-old girls are like that. Because it's exciting to have someone so much older showing her attention. Honestly, sixteen is way too young to expect any kind of emotional maturity, and I think that straight people mature more slowly in that regard anyways because they don't have to cope with the emotional consequences of realizing their orientation. She'll continue playing with you as long as you chase her, but you have to recognize that that's all it will ever be to her- a game.
     
  3. pinklov3ly

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    I personally date people 21+ because I like to drink, so I'll feel bad giving an underaged girl a drink, esp with me being a graduate with a degree in Criminal Justice...plus, I have a niece who's 15 & also 21...perhaps, you should find someone around your age. I know that age ain't nothing, but a number, but I'd stay within a five year difference give or plus. I mean, my mom & dad are 12 years apart, but when they got together she was a lot older...16 is pretty young, so stir clear.
     
    #3 pinklov3ly, Oct 3, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2012
  4. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all the great advice. I'll let this one go...
     
  5. Jakey945

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    If she has outright told you she is straight you should really give it a rest. :s not to be pessimistic or anything but that either means 1. she really is straight. or 2. Shes not ready for anything because she hasn't come to terms with her own sexuality (which may be the case because apparently she hasnt kissed boys either)
     
  6. Badaxe

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    If it made her uncomfortable, you shouldn't question it. It's not "stupid" if she doesn't want to kiss you. It means she doesn't want to. Just because she's young doesn't mean she doesn't know what she wants, and you don't get to decide that for her. Believe it or not, kids and teenagers can actually know their own sexuality. Even if she did show interest in you, there's still that power imbalance that comes with the age difference since she's a minor, and no matter what you do, you're going to be taking advantage of her whether it feels like you are or not.