Over the last year I've lost almost 70lbs and I'm still losing weight, but to me instill look he same as I did when I was 265 lbs. I'm 6'3" so I'm pretty close to healthy weight, but I still feel like I need to lose more weight. The only way I can tell that I've lost weight is the scale and that I can wear way smaller clothes now. I can't stand to look at myself in mirror without a shirt because I still don't have a flat stomach and haven't completely lost my man boobs or love handles, I seriously want to cry when I see them. I go out of my way to avoid seeing myself shirtless in the mirror. I'm getting better about my self esteem but I still feel ugly as shit when I see myself shirtless. Lots of people have told me I look great since I've lost weight, and I know I look better than I did, but I still can't see myself as being any thinner or as attractive. It's making crazy that I can't see myself the way others see me, and I feel like it would help my confidence if I could.
First off congrats on losing the weight! That is a big accomplishment one that I need to do. You are stuck you have told yourself you are ugly so many times that you believe it. Take in what people say about you, if they are telling you that you are looking good you probably are! Don't put yourself down be proud of what you have accomplished! I know this is easier said then done but don't let what you think you look like hold you back. Walk into a room like your damn sexy and i bet you'll be surprised about what happens.
Big congrats on losing the weight man , but I agree with bman. It sounds difficult, I was in the same position.. I entered deep depression when I was about 12 and I was deeply unhappy with my appearance. I'm not even sure what made me that way. But, I luckily grew out of it in time and now I appreciate the way I look. Nothing overly different has changed except aging, but I just stopped worrying what everyone thought of me and my appearance. Plus I've said it before in another thread, but your looks comes greatly down to your confidence. I've had a friend from when I was 5, and unfortuantly he was bullied a great deal from 5 to about 12. He was called fat, ugly, big head, everything child bullying involves and had chronic self confidence problems. And then one day in about year 8/9 (so 13/14), he just.. changed. He somehow (and luckily, good for him) grew a self confidence. And ever since then, people have actually called him sexy. He still has all the same traits; he's 'technically' (you can't tell though, and I certainly wouldn't notice if he didn't tell me) a little over weight, he still has an unfortuant head size (don't wanna sound like I'm picking on him.. but he kinda does :l) etc etc. The only thing that has changed at all is his confidence, he believes he's sexy and good looking and all the rest, and so does everyone else. I've spoken to a few girls that have responded quite literally with 'his confidence is sexy'. It's kinda true, really. How do you expect someone else to find you attractive if you can't find yourself attractive? Learn to love yourself somehow. It sounds like a tall order, but start small. Find one feature you're really confident about... maybe your eyes? And just say to yourself infront of the mirror every day 'my eyes are good looking' or something, and say it over and over again. Once you appreciate that feature, move on, do the same ritual and gradually learn to appreciate yourself. The best advice is the most simple yet most difficult. Learn to love yourself man, and people will too. Good luck
I know how you feel I weighed 160 and I gained 12 pounds im 5,6-5,8 in height like I said in my thread. Everyone tells me I look thin except my mom but I see this morbidly obese person in the mirror I used to have an eating disorder when I was younger and I believe that me seeing myself as fat is part of eating disorders,when I was 13 I was 100 and still thought I was fat, my doctor said my weight is perfect but I dont believe it I eat healthy food work out every day and I lose weight so slowly so I'm in this diet I only eat 900 cals a day then Work out for 1-2 hours and I can lose 30 pounds in 1 month ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2012 at 11:47 AM ---------- And what bothers me now is that when I was 160 my stomach was pretty flat then I put on 12 pounds and I have a little fat and IM FREAKING OUT like omg that's what makes me go in to eating disorder mode :O ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2012 at 11:52 AM ---------- I think deep down I know im not fat but something in my mind says i am someone said what size shirt do you wear. I said size small and they were like then how are you fat? And I know they are right but I want to be in size xs
As others have said, losing weight is definitely a good accomplishment - but as they've also said, this is only half of the issue. The issue of "seeing yourself as others see you" is a nice ideal, but in practice, it doesn't often seem to help people. If you think you don't look good, it's hard to tell yourself, "oh, but so-and-so thinks I do, so I must be wrong." In your own case, then, you've been giving yourself a lot of reasons to feel bad about the way you look - can you find any reasons to like things about your appearance? You might even start with small isolated things - maybe you like the way your eyes look, or you think you have a nice smile, or a fresh haircut. It could be as external as you really like a shirt you happen to be wearing one day. You might also look beyond issues of appearance. If it's a self-esteem issue, then there might be something else causing you to think badly of yourself, and it's only really finding expression in your view of your weight. Look for ways to feel accomplished or useful - put a lot of work into a project for school, find a charity to volunteer at, or look into pursuing some small aspect of a long-distance goal you have for yourself (for a purely hypothetical example, if you wanted to go to law school, buy a book on legal practice and read it). If body image is a physical as well as a mental thing, and you've been paying attention - again, with great results - to the physical side, maybe it's time to start focusing on the mental side.
If you've lost 70 pounds, and are self conscious about the loose skin, you could always consult with a plastic surgeon. While skin is slightly elastic, 70 pounds is a rather large weight loss, and it will take a long time for your skin to shrink to fit, if it ever does. A cosmetic surgeon could remove the extra skin. Keep in mind, though, this would likely be an out of pocket expense. With all this in mind, I would wait until your weight has been stable for a period of time, so it only has to be done once, or in as few procedures as the professional recommends.
At 18 years old, I don't think cosmetic surgury is necessary unless there are underlaying skin issues. Cornella93, FWIW, you're 18 and your body is still growing. I don't know how you're losing weight, but be sure you're eating healthy and exercising. The body is an amazing contraption and if you're attempting to starve the fat off, your metabolism simply slows down. The end result is you feeling like crap and the body retaining fat. Something you can also do, if you're not already, is lifting weights and actually trying to put on a little weight through muscle gain. I know it sounds counterintuitive but it evens out the body to some extent and gives you that much more energy consuming body mass which raises your metabolism as well.
