Not sure if still crushing or just valuing friendship a lot

Most likely a still the crush.

The interesting thing about having feelings for someone is that they usually dont just go away, unless there is a reason. We can try to get over people as much as we like, but if there isnt anything 'negative' we can throw at them we will still find them attractive, and kind, and amazing, etc.

Your fondness of him wont just go away. The validity of it will definitely change over time. Sometimes it will be high, sometimes low. From what I hear, he is a great. Getting over 'great' people isnt as easy.

 

Oh, my gosh! I know exactly how you feel! This past summer, I got a job as a lifeguard. It was late in the summer, and I was coming in as a total newbie. I didn't know anything as far as where the equipment was, what the procedures were, etc. One of the other lifeguards helped me out tremendously! Throughout the next couple weeks, he showed me the ropes and kept me company when I was on stand and he was on break.

We became good friends, and I developed quite the crush on him. In fact, he was/is my first crush. I would always check my schedule to see if I was working with him because I liked spending time with him.

I came to trust him as a close friend and told him I was gay one evening. Admittedly, I told him on Facebook, but that's beside the point. He said it didn't change anything. I was relieved! The next time we saw each other, we talked about what I had told him. He said he'd never had a gay friend before.

It was about two weeks before the summer ended. The next few weeks were good. We guarded together, I gave him a few swim lessons and we had a good time. It was when lifeguarding ended that I actually realized that I had a crush on him.

I couldn't get him out of my head. I would check Facebook to see if he was on. I'd text him. I knew that he was straight, and it's not like I was looking for a relationship. At the same time, I missed spending time with him. He lives half an hour away making it difficult to just chill. It's crazy the stupid things you'll do over someone you have a crush on.

I think for now I'd agree with the above comments that your crush probably won't just go away, but you'll learn to be just friends with time.

 

I'm glad you bring this up. It's probably one of the things I am least proud of and the stupidest thing I've done in a long time. I texted and Facebook messaged him a lot one day. I was really bored, and wanted someone to chat with. It's not like he was the only one I messaged, but I did message him a lot. The day after all the messaging, I saw him at work, and he said to stop "whore messaging" him. It was half jokingly, half seriously. I looked back on how much I'd messaged/texted him, and I felt like crap after that. I couldn't believe I had done something that stupid. I became concerned about our friendship.

As far as I know now, we're cool, but I felt bad for a week or two. It's not the fact that I texted him. It's how much I texted him. As long as you don't become a "text abuser" you shouldn't have to worry. I try to limit casual chats on Facebook to once every couple weeks. Things have seemed to calm down in my head after beating myself up.

 

Lately, I've been chatting more on Facebook with friends, and I've kind of gotten an idea as to how/whether or not people will respond. I have several good friends who either don't respond period or they take a long time to respond. I used to become cynical about them not getting back to me because I could see that they received the message, but they never would respond. I've found that it isn't that they don't necessarily want to respond, but they might not like chatting online or they're busy/don't have time (this applies to texting, too). Try not to take it to heart. If you really are concerned and he truly is a good friend, I think it would be a good idea to talk to him in person or call him. It's more personal this way, and you can have an honest conversation. I know this kind of confrontation can be difficult, but I think it would be positive overall. Hopefully some of your concerns would be addressed, and you'd find some piece of mind.