Ok, so I want to do it. Sometimes I think a lot about it and right now I'm having a lot of problems with myself. I like a guy in my school who is straight and that cause a lot of conflict. Not just because I would never be with him, but because I see him and he is so good at what he does. Makes me think about my lack of talent. That is sad. I want to be his friend but it's to difficult for me to talk to him. We do talk sometimes but little chats and I want more. I don't want him to know that I like him but I think I'm too obvious. Anyway thats one part of my depression, my lack of talent and that I don't know what tro do with my life. Another reason is just my self confidence about my apparence (I don't know if I wrote it correct). Another thing is my social skills, I'm not an outcast, and I do have friends but sometimes I feel like I need to be more confident with things I say... So maybe soon i will kill myself, I don't know.
Please do not kill yourself, you are worth so much more, and things will get better, they really will. Seek help, call a hotline. If you want to talk, I am here for you.
Don't do it. You're seeking a permanent solution to temporary problems. Hang in there. PLEASE!!! I relate to how you feel. I was in the same place about a week ago. Still, each time I decide to live another day, I eventually live to be glad about that decision. Please get help now!
The nature of suicidal ideation is that it encourages irrational thinking and convinces the thinker that they have never been more rational in their lives. At the height of my suicidal phase, I was convinced that there was no hope, no escape, nothing that would ever get better. Fortunately, by calling crisis lines, finding a therapist, and working on myself I was able to improve. It wasn't quick, months to years, it wasn't easy, but it worked.
Look, even though you say that you want to, inside you, there is a part of you that says no. And that part of you is the one that guide you to us and speak to us. Hold on to that part. It will look like there is no way forward for you, but it is only so if you give up now. What have been most effetive for me to fight the suicidal impluse, is to force myself into a life contract. Write up some conditions that you must fulfill before you can die, and make those conditions something you really, really want to do in life, or in anyway make life more meaningful to you. My condition in my contract, was to saving a hundred lives before I can end my own.That way my life had some meaning at least before I die. And well, what do youknow, saving lives is a hard thing, and it kept me going on untill I was able to call for help and recieve it.
I agree with rain dreamer I used to be like that and there was always a little part of me that was like no. And that's why you are here on empty closets talking to us because some part of you wants to live
I'm sorry you're having a difficult night, yeahyeah. (*hug*) Sometimes when we idealize someone - especially if we're attracted to them - it's easy to think of them as somehow purely better than us. But that's not always the case - he may be good at what he does, but that doesn't mean you can't do it, or something different, too. And if he hasn't spent more time with you yet, it doesn't mean you're not worth spending time with. You talk about feeling unsure about whether or not you want to hurt yourself - hold on to that uncertainty. There are people who will want to spend time with you, and who will look up to you. And maybe you'll want to spend time with one of them. If you're feeling like you really do want to hurt yourself in some way, please do keep posting or call someone for help. The Crisis Call Center is available all the time (literally, every hour of every day) - you can call them at 1-800-273-8255. They will be able to help you, too.
