I am a 19 year old male working and going to school full time. Ever sinse middle school I've known I like men. All those years I felt confused; I did not want to accept it. In high schools I had girlfriends. They were all short term; they either cheated, moved away and one was extremely religious (and quiet) that it did not even seem she was my girl friend. I find girls attractive, thus I've labeled myself as bisexual. I now have a "boyfriend". Because of my basic 0 free time we only sleep together(so its barely a relationship). I love him; he is such a great guy. He puts up with me and really does love me. Sometimes I just don't know if I should stay with him. We both know this relationship won't be forever (due to him moving away in a cupple of years). I want to find somebody to spend my whole life with. After hearing so much debate on the bi issue it has gotten me thinking. I am now starting to question if I am actually bi. I do find girls attractive but will I be satisfied with a girl for the long rung or will I want to be with a guy afterwords? I don't really know anybody that is bi (or gay(other than my bf)) in order of me to ask them if they ever feel that way. So the big Q for me right now is if I'm really bi or just gay... . . . . I also recently did something that I am not proud of. I gave/received a bj to a guy I saw at the gym. My dumb resoning at the time was: I wanted to see how it felt to be with someone other than my bf. I felt so bad after I got home; I never thought I would be the cheating type. Then worries of stds came in my mind(which made everything worse)(even tough neither I nor the guy had open wounds or weird bumps). I've always liked being checked out but never really thought I would do something like that. Now I'm worried I'll do that again . Well it felt nice to vent since I have nobody to talk to(being that I am in the closet). If you have any advise or just want to comment on anything, please feel free to do so. Thank you for taking your time to read this. (I appreciate any of your experience).
Aww...I'm sorry ._. . Well if you like girls...and you like guys...you're bisexual! You may be with a guy, but if you "by accident" stare at a girls chest or ass or whatever get's you thinking, then your bi! Well I heard a bj doesn't count as cheating...but that's probably what the swinger said. I have a question for you: How much free time can you spare? You might not feel like you can...but just think a little and see. Try to talk to your bf more often, you might feel better talking to him about those things! Good luck!
Why are you experimenting with other guys if you have a bf? That isn't good. It's not too late to put a stop to that...
I told my bf I was bi and he basically always brings me down about it. He brings a good point though : what girl would want to be with a guy that is bi? None that I know.
Um... so you're in college? If your school offers those free STD testing event/ days, go to it if you're worry... and question to ask yourself: are you sexually or emotionally attracted to men? are you sexually or emotionally attracted to women? With whom do you want to spend the rest of your life with? (human answer only, nothing like, my pet rock) EDIT: and wow, you sound almost like me up until the you dorm in college and have sexual experiment in college and the dating in HS part. which basically, we're both 19 and I also find my first attraction to men in MS
I feel the exact same way I like men and I like women but I call myself gay because in my mind if I'm with a woman I feel that I am missing something If in with a guy I feel more complete, I do look at girls chests and asses but sexually I don't think I like them like that, I mean I see a hot girl and Ill say wow she's fucking hot but I don't think I could have sex with her I'm more infatuated with beauty of a women than sexually Attracted to them and I just figured that out recently I had to think about it. I knew when I thought more deeply to who I look at in a sexual way like when I see a hot guy I think I'd love to have sex with home when I see a hit woman I think wow she's very pretty and thats it :/ so that's how I figured it out
I am both sexually and emotionally attracted to men. Like you and Alexander said I do find girls attractive but I don't know if I also find them in a sexual attractive way. I look at a girl and think wow she's hot but I haven't had sexual experience with one to know. Maybe it is just emotional attraction. I am very charismatic and easy going. I get the attention of a lot of girls. But sadly the girl that I completely fell for is taken. I could actually see myself with her. And that adds to my confusion. I feel I will miss that attention I get from girls (the way the tAlk/flirt with me) once I say "I'm gay".
You sound a lot like me. For many years, I thought I was bisexual. Having been in numerous heterosexual relationships, I sort of pushed the "gay side" aside for a while. But I just never really felt fulfilled in my relationships. Always felt like there's something missing. I quickly realized what it was: A woman. I need to be with a woman. I can look at an attractive man and acknowledge him as such, but I just won't be attracted to him. Look at an attractive woman and I'll just want to impress her somehow, and show her how lovely she is and shower her with love and kisses... I went through a lot of confusing phases. First I thought "OK, I'm bisexual but leaning towards women". Then I thought, "OK, I'm lesbian". Then I felt I might miss out on something if I go full out gay, so I again thought I must be bisexual then... I certainly hope this is the last time I have to go through this, and that I've finally settled on gay. It's terribly frustrating, and confusing because I already started coming out to people, and came out to most as bisexual. Now I have to somehow rectify that and set the record straight (no pun intended). Don't lose hope, you'll figure it out eventually. And to avoid confusion, when you come out to people just tell them you're into men. Don't specify whether you're bisexual or gay before you've figured it out for yourself. If only I'd done it that way :lol:
I feel for a girl I could have been happy with also but she didn't tell me she was dating..... Her boyfriend was hot to :/ I guess I got drunk and made out with him :/ and she and my friendship stopped after that.... Luckily that wasn't spread around in high school HAHA no one knew... I dont really remember that but I'm happy if it did he was so hot so so hot
This sounds a lot like me. I was so frustrated with the fact that I was attracted to men I kept telling myself I was straight and not to worry this would work it self out. Finally I told myself I was gay and was starting to be OK with it but then out of nowhere I find out that a female co-worker had a crush on me. This intrigued me so I pursued her, I invited her to my birthday party and boom the next day she was over. We talked and started dating, at first I had no feelings for her really but after about a month I found myself actually getting turned on by her. We had sex on many occasions and things were good. Well she became uninterested and ended it. I felt hurt very hurt. I was bad for about a month but I moved on. Now I have a huge crush on my best friend who is more than likely straight and now I am even more confused then ever. I feel like I could still be gay but what I had with my ex girlfriend confuses me. I guess I have finally decided that it depends on the person and the connection I have with them. So basically if my best friend were a female I still would have fallen in love with her but it happens that he is of course male. To me sex is sex and if you love someone you will always enjoy it. I do think I have a male preference though I usually look at gay porn and it's what turns me on the most. If I did meet the right female though and we were in love I really don't think I would have problem having sex with her, that connection would still be there. Who knows though really, in then end it is up to you.
Well, I just started my own thread because of similar feelings all my life. I'm much older than you but have lived with the same struggles. I fought the gay feelings for years. Thought maybe there was something wrong with me. So I met a girl, got married, kids and did the whole family thing. It's a great life but there's just been a part of me stuck in the closet. I would say you are who you are. If you're attracted to guys then go for it, girls more power to you, both then follow your feelings. Be true to yourself and treat people right and you will do fine. But if you have a BF and want to play the field (for either team) then be honest with him and let him go.
