After about a year of questioning and denial I finally accepted very recently that I am in fact gay. three weeks ago I was texting one of my best friends and he told me he could tell that I hadn't been acting quite myself the last time we were hanging out (just a couple of days before) and he demanded to know why. I just told him that I couldn't tell him and blah blah blah. Anyway, after about an hour of back and fourth I finally just came out and told him. I felt sick to my stomach after I sent the text and just waited for him to tell me to get lost (He seemed very homophobic.) but to my surprise he was very supportive and told me it didn't change anything between us etc. long story short he convinced me that I should tell my parents and that the weight off my shoulders would help me to not be depressed. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I somehow found the courage to tell my mom. She's not too happy about it. The first thing she told me was how wrong and dirty it is to be gay and that I was going to hell, an embarrassment to the whole family and, that nobody can ever know about it. Oh yeah, And that I was going to be killed in a hate crime. (No idea where she came up with that one) My problem right now is this: I feel like I'm never going to get the chance to live the happy life I want to. I want to be able to date and find a boyfriend so bad, it's all I think about. I get so jealous of my straight friends when I see how happy they are with their bf/gfs. I feel that the only way that's possible is if I move out, my mom flat out told me that I couldn't date anyone as long as I was at home. I'm 18 and I haven't had my first job yet, even if I do it won't be enough to be independent on and I can't afford to go to college. I don't know when I'll be able to move out. I feel that if I wait to long then the right one for me will be gone and ill be lonely and miserable for the rest of my life. I'm Quite a shy person and don't know anyone else who is LGBT, so I don't even know where I would find someone in Oklahoma anyway. I don't want to be 30 and still single end the fact that I'm in Oklahoma where most people are homophobic anyway doesn't help my situation. I feel so trapped and lost right now. I don't want life to pass me by. If anyone has any insight they could give right now it would be much appreciated. :icon_sad:
Can you get scholarships to go to college? They have them for everything nowadays. Not going to college is a bad idea in my opinion, so if you can go without incurring too much debt then you should go.
Hello, Strident and welcome! It is awesome to hear that your friend was extremely supportive! It is really cool that he was so attentive and noticed that something was bothering you. I suggest sticking with him for support! I know how bad it feels to have your mother have a negative response when you come out. I would give her time though. I decided to come out to my mother first because I thought she would be the most supportive. Well, my plan kind of backfired. She was instantly denying it and constantly asking me if this is what I wanted. As if this is what I chose to do. She was making me feel horrible by saying that nobody in the family would approve of this and asked me to wait till I left the home to tell them. I do agree with her, though, that they are not going to take the news well at all. She told me that if I don't tell my father that this is going to cause a divide in their marriage because I am causing her to hold a secret. Well, she ended up telling him about a week later. He came to me and had a few questions. He was in denial, though, but he was a lot better than her. It is now about four to five months later and we talk about it like it is nothing. This all happened around May of this year, so you are about two years ahead of me! This past summer at my part-time job, I met hundreds of different co-workers. This one guy and I started to talk. We ended up becoming really close. He ended up coming out to me one day at work. He asked if I was fine with it and I said absolutely. Of course, I did not have the courage to tell him I was gay (I have no idea why?). That night I felt guilty and sent him a message on Facebook. We are really close friends now. Unfortunately, he's away at college. People will always be randomly walking into your life. Just think, one of them might be your future boyfriend! Also, don't think so long term either. Opportunities always arise in life, so you never know where you are going. Explore scholarships or federal aid to see what you can receive for college. Maybe try attending a community college that has a lower tuition cost. As the old saying goes, "if there is a will, there is a way!" Hopefully I helped ease your stress and anxiety a little bit. Just remember, things will get better! (*hug*)
Actually, yes does help me feel a little less anxious, thanks! I sometimes try to plan to far ahead and it always comes back to bite me. I guess I'm still pretty young and have my whole life ahead of me. Maybe someday Ill be able to tell my dad and be able to talk about it openly.
I'm 17 tuning 18 I can somewhat realate to you, I'm 17 turning 18 next month I've never worked, my friends don't know I'm gay (except one) I've never dated never kissed someone, my family is very religious my family has money but I don't eat any of it. My plan is to get a job ASAP I really dont care where or what I need independence and my plan for a life time job is real estate. I know you feel trapped that's how I feel if you want to talk more post in my wall I'll rely ASAP ok stay in there your not alone
