tonight I saw one of my mates mime "adam's so gay" to another friend whilst we were all out clubbing. idk kind of made me feel like shit like because I'm trying to push myself so hard to come out and my mates were taking the piss out of me behind my back. it just makes me feel like whats the point? if even my friends find my struggle with my sexuality funny how are strangers going to treat me? I considered myself fairly straight acting but idk. I've just been pushed right back into the closet for sure. so hurt...
Well are you sure they meant it in a homosexual way? I'm in high school so ppl my age are still pretty immature so idk about your friends but here when people use the phrase "_____ is so gay" they don't actually mean it as homosexual they mean it as more of an insult referring to something being dumb. But even if they did you shouldn't let them affect you if they are your real friends they'll understand that you have problems like everyone else. And either way you know that you always have people on EC that will always be willing to help. Coming out is the best option and the one that will make you the happiest in the long run so it's worth it, definatly, will it be easy? Probably not but it's getting a lot better for people like us and people are becoming a million times more open-minded and accepting. So just be brave and try not to over think things or take them to personally. If you really are as "straight acting" as you think you are then I doubt your friends really said it to offend you I'm THAT way...if that makes any sense
I can see why it upset you, and it probably would have upset me too, but do you think it was intended to be an insult to you or was your friend just trying to make a joke? Some people throw the term "that's gay" or "you're so gay" around more as a joke. I ordered a salad the other day at a pizza place and my friend said to me "you're so gay". It has nothing to do with my sexuality, and I know my friend has no problems with gay people. It's just turned into one of those phrases people sometimes say that have an alternate meaning. Don't let anyone discourage you from coming out. Come out when you're ready. I personally have only told 2 close friends and I am happy that way. Other people want to tell everyone they know - it's up to you.
Hi, I have to say I agree with the other posters. The comment *most likely* had nothing to do with your actual sexual orientation and everything to do with your friends parroting a popular phrase without stopping to consider the actual meaning and impact of their words. They were thoughtless and rude while trying to seem stylish and cool. I know that when you are caught in the "Do I come out/Do I not come out" beartrap it seems every little thing is directed at you. I think probably your nerves are raw, and you're just super aware of everything right now. That doesn't make what they said okay, but it may be that they had no intent or desire to mock you or hurt your feelings, they're just insensitive, and they don't really think about the impact of using the word gay as interchangeable with lame. (See? Now I just did the same darned thing to handicapped peoples.) Crud.
