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Is self confidence bad or something?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by RemyLeBeau, Oct 8, 2012.

  1. RemyLeBeau

    RemyLeBeau Guest

    It happens every time I try to get any self confidence. My parents say I'm "having a fucking terrible attitude that BETTER fucking stop". I almost got kicked out of my own house for it. Like, my suitcase was packed and everything. The more self confident I am, the more miserable everyone around me is. I try to be confident and make friends and people go out of their way to avoid me.

    And this morning I was told that the way to get self confidence was to dress like a slut and have men whistle at me. Which sounds really disgusting for some reason.

    So what am I doing wrong that everyone around me gets so mad whenever I'm confident? Is it because I'm suddenly trying to talk to them? Am I really THAT unlikable? It's just weird because all my life I've felt nothing but a blind hatred towards myself and like I was a worthless loser, but every time I think that maybe I DO deserve to live, I upset the people I care about.

    Do I just pretend I hate myself even though I (sorta) don't? Because I'm sick of making my parents so mad. And then I could just leave the rest of the world alone. I don't know...
     
  2. Caoimhe Fayre

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    From your past posts, Remy, it's not you - it's them. I think you are very easily likeable. And you SHOULD have self-confidence. You're smart, funny, kind - and you deserve way better than what the people around you are giving you.

    And self-confidence does not mean being treated like a sex object by men.

    Sometimes, unfortunately, family just falls short - but the good news is, you get to pick your new family in the friends you choose for yourself. This might take a while, but you will get there. You are so strong, to have survived all you have and come this far.

    (*hug*)
     
  3. JPC5

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    I'm not an expert or anything but I think that type of friction just comes anyway once you start asserting your desires over other peoples' opinions. If they were never used to you doing that then they probably view it as strange, and possibly hostile. Just keep doing and being you, either they get on board with it or fall in the water. Don't start to hate yourself because of it.
     
  4. ezkill

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    I would just check to see if you are being self-confident as opposed to cocky. Are your good friends mad at you too?
     
  5. RemyLeBeau

    RemyLeBeau Guest

    Um, well, my girlfriend doesn't see much of a difference, and I don't really have good friends except for one I rarely see and hardly ever talk to, and she seems to see it as positive, but my step dad's always said my friends were really bad influences, hence why I no longer have people hanging out here (my bro's autism also makes having visitors difficult).

    If I try to MAKE friends, like online acquaintances, they usually just forget about me, or block me. I never spam people. I might try to send a little message, and if they don't reply within a few weeks or a month, then I pester them ONE more time and then I leave them alone.
     
  6. AAASAS

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    The only way people are gunna like you is if you don't care if they like you or not. Don't try to hard, I hate when people try to buddy buddy me and are ingenuine, I will almost never be friends with them.

    Also is your confidence justified, or is it inflated? No one likes an inflated sense of self importance.
     
  7. suninthesky

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    I had/have the same issues with my parents. Well, only my mom, my dad was/is fine with me. Just work on getting to college/more independent. The more you show you can take care of yourself, the less they'll think you're acting out.