Today I went downstairs to eat breakfast, but since my older brother is flying out today, my family decided that we'd go out to eat brunch. So instead of eating, I just started reading the Best Buy advertisement in the paper and the comics. Then my dad came up to me and started asking about what I'm going to do this summer (research, SAT preparation, etc.). It started veering towards the application and interview process and he mentioned that he hopes I don't mumble during the interviews. If I'm in public, I can speak clearly but when I'm in private with family or friends I tend to mumble a lot. Then he hit the nail on the head. >< He said, "I hope you don't mumble because of a self-image issue." I've suffered from an inferiority complex (the article explains it pretty much 100%) for the past few years. I always think I'm worse or less of a person than someone else when I meet someone. It's just kind of instilled in me, I guess. I think it's due to my looks (I don't like being half Asian) and my sexual orientation. Whenever I talk to family or friends, I tend to mumble because I think what I say is unimportant (and my dad said I have important stuff to say, so he hopes that's not the issue-- but it is) and so am I. Sometimes I also feel really antisocial, to the point of staying in my room all day or feeling disconnected when I'm with friends. My mom always told me that I was no better than any other person. I guess that was her way of telling me everyone was equal (and not to let my ego take control). Except it backfired and now I feel like I'm worse than everyone at everything unless I win a competition or something (and if I do, then I'm only equal to everyone; never better). The inferiority complex has wreaked so much damage on me. If someone asks me a question if I'm comfortable or something, I'll say yes even if I'm not. For example, I could have been standing on my feet all day and if someone offers me a chair to sit down, I'll say no because I don't want him or her going out of his/her way to help me because I don't feel that I'm worth the effort. I bumped into my desk last year in class one day and I APOLOGIZED TO A DESK because I bumped into it. :tantrum: That's another thing, I'm always apologizing for something even if I didn't do it. So . . . I'm tired of this. I'm 17 and I have no interest in girls whatsoever. I'm going to write a letter explaining my situation this afternoon and leave it on the table when my parents bring me to the airport. Hopefully it won't ruin the Superbowl for them. I've probably left out a few details, but I don't feel like revising my post. It's the big picture.
I find that very interesting. Parents shouldn't tell their kids they are better than anyone else or better at anything than everyone because there is always going to be someone better than you so when you realize you're not the best it hurts your confidence. But I guess that can backfire like you said. Thats a good thing, it shows you have manners. And its also a very Australian thing to do too. =P
Good luck with the letter! I think you'll find that some of your feelings of inferiority may hopefully slip away once the cat's out of the bag... or the closet... or whatever. Another way of helping might be to take a job where you deal with all kinds of people. Eventually, you're bound to run into someone so unworth your time that you can't help feeling good when they walk away, lol. I worked in a hotel for five years, and let me be the first to say that when people go on vacation, they leave their brains at the door. I was shy until I had that job. By the end, I was amazed that I ever felt inferior to someone in the first place. :icon_bigg
I think you're a great person Coming out to your parents and telling them some of your problems is a big step, they need to these things. I know it'll all work out fine.
I gets it Cooper [: I'm that type of person too. I'm Asian too; seems like it's connected to that in some way. Because in the Asian family, your opinion is nothing compared to your father's or anyone's above you. It's not even taken into consideration sometimes, and that's kinda like, sad. So idk, just what I think. Honestly, the first boy I ever fell in love with told me something that changed my life til this day, and it's sad how mediocre it is but: "Don't apologize unless you hurt someone mentally or physically." I still have those moments though, where sometimes with people I start getting skittish, and I just say sorry as like, every other word. But idk. Good step forward in coming out. [:
