We are in high school, so it is a possibility that he doesn't totally know yet. Tell me what you think? I am openly gay at my school and he is perceived as straight. The only time we’ve ever gotten drunk together, we kissed and I laid in his lap for an hour talking about his unsuccessful relationship with girls He has had many relationships with girls, but they usually end short. He claims that he doesn’t have really strong feelings for any of them He does do stuff with girls. He makes out with them and I’ve heard from some people he’s tried to go farther with them. He’s currently talking to a girl and he said that when he kisses/makes out with her he doesn’t feel horny at all. And he never describes it as a positive experience. More like: oh yeah it was okay He does have a preference in girls. He likes tan girls with curves. And he has said things like I miss the way her body feels sometimes. He talks about girls A LOT. Half the stuff we talk about is girls, sadly. He talks about which girls are school are really hot and how he’s gonna get at them. We text almost every day. He can be really flirtatious over texts sometimes, calling me hun and babe. But sometimes he talks to me like a total dude and doesn’t flirt at all. I’ve tested him a few times, resisting to text him to see if he will text me, and he texts me again if I ignore him for like 2 hours. One time he said I don’t like kissing her, I think I’m gay (he says this every once in a while) . I asked him if he seriously thought that and he answered “No lol I’m definitely not gay” A lot of people tell him and I that we would make a cute couple. He seems to entertain the idea by telling people yeah we are or no I couldn’t date him cuz he’s taller than me (he knows I prefer to be shorter/girl in relationship) When breaking it off with a girl he asked her why he had so many problems with girls. Then saying he could be gay. My girl friend asked him why he kissed me. He answered he would only kiss me, following with "but I'm not gonna lick his wiener." She told him that she thought he was homosexual. He denied it the first time, but after she insisted he was, he said "we will see" His group of friends are EXTREMELY MANLY. So sometimes I doubt that he's gay just because of that. He does wrestling and I figured he would have known after touching so many guys by now. We can be pretty touchy, but I’m not sure if it’s just because he sees me as a good friend. We greet by hugging each other and when we walk to class his arm is around me or we’re arm in arm. He can admit when he thinks a guy is attractive. But he says it in a way that most other straight guys do, like they know they’re attractive but they aren’t attracted to them. He tells me that I’m really good looking, that I have the perfect smile, and that I look good in a bathing suit. Overall my instinct is telling me that he has feelings for me, but he may be in denial. I think what he's starting to realize now is that he doesn't really like sexual stuff with girls and that he's starting to realize that he enjoys my company. But when it comes to the way he treats me he can be very bi-polar. From "Night! Sorry we can't talk on the phone ):"/"Kay have at the movies hun" to "Ima go to sleep now". He's honestly a very very very confusing person. I know that he's good at perceiving how people feel about him, so I'm sure he is getting the hint that I like him. I'm afraid that he's just doing this to play me, as he does to many other girls. (He likes to talk to people even though he has no real feelings for them.) My gut feeling changes a lot by the way he acts, so I don't know what to believe in. When he talk on the phone or we walk to class my gut tells me that he's interested. But when he ignores me for his guy friends my gut tells me to get over it because he's straight. Beyond telling me whether or not you think he is gay, I need some advice. I really like this guy, but holding on to him gets me distracted from school, especially college applications. My friends keep telling me to get over him and just be friends because he's probably straight. But I don't think I can be normal friends with him, at least for now. Should I try to distance myself or keep going for it is the question. Some people suggest to get over him and if he is gay we can always get together. But I can't truly get over him if I'm hoping to get back together with him later. Should I try talking to him about it? I'm doing his eyebrows this week.. maybe then? Help ): I don't know how to explain everything, but I hope this is enough information to get some ideas started! feel free to ask any more questions, I'm sure I have answers. Am I completely over analyzing a good guy-to-guy friendship...?
Oh man these can be a bit of a sticky situation.. It does sound like he has the possibility of being gay or at least bisexual. Just because guys go with/talk about girls doesn't always mean that is what they truly prefer. Often times if they are actually gay, they can be in denial, especially at your age, and try to date girls since they most likely don't want to be gay and want to fit in and be seen as "normal." Have you ever tried being a little flirty with him? Maybe touch him a bit more while talking or hanging out? Treat him kind of like he treats you. Start using babe and hun in text, lol. Maybe try getting a bit closer than usual to him while sitting down different places. See how he reacts to this stuff. Have you guys ever talked about the drunk kiss?
I treat him the same way back. I actually find myself being more flirtatious than he is. But I'll definitely try to turn it up a notch and see. We have talked about it plenty of times. He says that kissing people isn't a big deal to him. He also told me that when we kissed he was actually pretty sober.
well... wish i was this open and have this close of a best guy friend in HS lol. for now, put him aside. he might be confusing you, or confusing you, or confusing himself. Give yourself some moments of clarity and work on college applications. You can deal with him after your college apps' deadlines, and possibly before you graduate HS. Time is short, you have priorities. And getting over people may take time. I am in college for second year and there's this guy (acquaintance) who I still can't get over my crush. But it's better for you, or both of you. Maybe he needs time to figure out. Maybe you might be able to let go of the feeling and stay friends. It's lot of maybe here lol. but ask yourself what you can physically and mentally do now? (I am pretty much pro-college app here, I am the guy who would be in closet and don't tell people and play this "workaholic" nerd card at school. Don't blow my cover )
Have you ever thought about telling him how you feel? And how you're a bit confused by his words/actions sometimes. Normally I'd be against going after a straight person, but it's pretty unclear whether this guy actually is or not, which leaves things open. He's even said a couple times before that he's gay, be it half-joking or not. Sometimes people say stuff like that to "test the waters" and then take it back even though they can really mean it.
I have considered it a lot of times but I don't quite know when it's a good time to bring it up. ): I'm scared it could ruin our friendship.
