I need some advice, preferably from Christians like myself. Ok, my girlfriend and I have been dating, secretly, for about eight months and we have completely fallen in love. However, something inside me is doubting our relationship because, being religious, im so worried if our sexual relationship is wrong. I don’t believe being gay is a sin at all, because if that’s the way that God made you, then there is absolutely no shame in that. But if im not gay (because I don’t know for sure my exact sexuality yet) then my relationship with my girlfriend would be wrong in my eyes. So, lately we have been kind of fighting about this and she agreed to me kissing a guy just to be sure. If I could kiss one of our friends just to tell for sure, I would be so relieved because im ready to come out as a lesbian; I just do not want to label myself as one if I’m not. She would be there, just to make sure nothing bad happens, but is this a bad idea?? Should I just take a break with her and go on a real date with a guy to be sure instead? The thing is, my girlfriend and I are really into each other and I don’t want to hurt her, because I know if I dated another guy, I would. Help??!
That's a really tough situation to be in. Unfortunately I think you are completely in the wrong. I understand it's hard to question your sexuality especially when you have so much on the line. And the fact that you're really religious makes it more difficult. Here's a website for LGBT Catholics: Featured Articles | DignityUSA. But the way I see it, you're a lesbian. You love this girl and she loves you. You have a great relationship, and you're happy. Shouldn't these feelings be enough to convince you it's the right choice? When you know, you know. Loving someone is definitely not a sin. And if it feels right, then that's what you like and that's your orientation. I feel really bad for your girlfriend. It must be terrible to have the person you love consider going on a break to date other guys, let alone watch her and support her! Your sexuality can be yours to experiment with when you're single, but not while you're dating someone. Please don't take this offensively, I'm trying to help, but I would really consider patching things up with her, before she tires of your indecisiveness and leaves.
Yes, IT'S A BAD IDEA. You should know, that while there are tons of differences between men and women, the mouth is not one of them. Kissing a boy and kissing a girl is, for the most part, really similar. You won't find any answer by doing that, just confuse you more. On the other hand, think of this: you're dating a girl and you're considering dating a boy to be sure you're lesbian. Then you worry about the girl's feelings getting hurt, but you do not feel bad for the boy (after all, you want to use him). How I see it, you have more interest on your girlfriend, and you seem to LOVE HER, and equally important, she seems to LOVE YOU (she were willing to let you kiss another person for YOUR sake after all). I say: You're both in love, don't waste that with useless confusion. Also, don't let religion get in your way, religion was made to protect people, not to tear them apart. Sorry if I sounded too serious , but I thought this would be better. Anyway, greetings (*hug*)!!!
Thanks so much. The last thing i want to do is hurt her, but i also have to do whats right for me too. I just dont know where to draw the line.
I think you should have confidence in the fact that, if you have been with your girlfriend for 8 months and have been intimate with her and you enjoy it you are at least bisexual therefore you should worry about being in the wrong. The problem I see with just going off and kissing a guy, in addition to it upsetting your girlfriend is that if you kiss just any old guy to try it out, your not going to feel anything anyway.
