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Dating and Meeting People first time

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by PatrickORLY, Oct 9, 2012.

  1. PatrickORLY

    Regular Member

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    Hello All.

    General Question.

    For those of you that were closeted for a while and came out (to themselves) in their late 20s or later;
    When you looked in the mirror and said to yourself "I am gay", what did you do next in regards to meeting people?

    I see there are some gay dating sites. I am not really into bars - straight ones or gay. Did you join the LGBTA?

    I am still not 100% sure of myself - so I am still a bit nervous about people knowing which makes things difficult. :bang:
     
  2. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    What I did first was to meet as many gay people online as I could. I went to a certain chatroom and talked to some other guys that were going through the same thing. Lucky for you, thats incredibly easy to do here at EC if that is what you want to do. Just send a message to anyone who you find interesting and introduce yourself. Most people here are ridcs friendly and don't mind meeting new people.

    If that doesn't sound like the thing for you, then joining LGBT support groups is your best bet right now. The trick, I think, is to meet people without the intention to date. That way you meet other people without any pressure, you find friends, a support system, and then dating gets easier after that.

    Does your uni have an LGBT group that you could go to? Is there one around your area? Maybe an LGBT center?
     
  3. Pain

    Pain Guest

    It's not that I've come out late, but maybe what I have to say can relate.

    In high school, I was closeted, but coming out slowly to people around me. When I got to college, I just presented myself as gay to the society around me, which mostly consisted of students. If someone didn't know, it's not that I would tell them-- I would just talk about it nonchalantly, acting as if it was common knowledge. I got involved with the community (students, faculty, surrounding area) LGBTQ group, and have been approached by people who have found me attractive.

    I have never used a dating site, but like Gus says, ^ "just send a message to anyone who you find interesting and introduce yourself." "Anyone" means "anyone," in an LGBT group or online or whatever. And it doesn't have to be online-- say hello to someone, ask to buy this person a drink.

    Good luck!