Help my domestic partner of four years refuses to tell her family that we are together. We have been together for 5 years but domestic partners for almost 4 years. She promised me she would tell them before our ceremony but has yet to do so. She came out to them years ago and they did not talk to her for 6 months so know operate on the "don't ask, don't tell" system. The problem is she knew it was a deal breaker for me, I don't want to be her little "secret" forever. She has a child that I'm helping her raise, I think we are setting a bad example for her How can this ever work? How can somebody who appears to be so self confident be such a coward? How can somebody not stand up for their family? I am not included in any family events, but how can I be included if she refuses to acknowledge me.
Hey, welcome to EC =) I wish I had some advice to give, but unfortunately I relate more to your partner than to you. I used to be in a relationship where I came out about it, and my parents didn't accept it, and really that's all their was to it. We went back to never discussing it, and my boy friend was not even to be discussed at home, let alone a part of the family. I think you're girl friend should tell them that she doesn't want to be in their lives if you can't be. However, that's neither here nor there, what's important is what you want and what your options are. Your marriage is very important, and I wouldn't enter into it if you feel uncomfortable doing so. Express to her how important this is. Keep in mind though, that if her case was anything like mine, you will likely never be an accepted part of her family. I never could have seen that working in my case. So, ultimately its a matter of whether you still want your girl friend to associate with her homophobic family or not, which is entirely a decision that should be made between the two of you.
