1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Relationships Rant

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jargon, Oct 10, 2012.

  1. jargon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    362
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Just in need of a rant because I havent got anyone immediately available to rant about this stuff to. If anyone feels like throwing advice my way it cant hurt :slight_smile: I dont feel like folks are too indebted to me tho since I havent been on much since my life started looking up again :icon_redf

    Anywho: I got myself a girl (before that shuts y'all down, my current problems are very gender neutral :icon_wink ) more specifically, my high school crush, the best friend who I'd admired from affar, asked out in 10th grade, acheived a blissful 2 weeks of dates with and then got dumped by. After 6 years of moving on with my life we reconnected, fell in love and are together again. Saying all this, I cant help but feel that my qualms are going to sound really really trivial. She's always been one of my favorite people, she's got my stupid, dorky sense of humor and we can be total goof-balls together without judgment. Well hey, I guess ranting reminds you what you have to be thankful for in addition to getting the bad stuff out too!

    So we had this amazing honeymoon period of being madly, madly in love. Its been a little over 3 months now and I get the impression thats fizzling hard on her end, whereas I'm still giddy over her. Granted, I'm really not worried about her leaving me. I'm pretty sure she'd stay with me for some time at this rate. She's just gotten over that passionate stage in the relationship and has to be coaxed way into it now. And as hard as I try to continue being the sweet spontaneous guy I was for her when we first started dating, it seems like I can only get her to feel the same thing for teeny short bursts once in a while now.

    Well thats the crux of my rant. What do I do when I secure my dreamgirl and she's satisfied with me, but I'm not happy with feeling like I'm being settled for, if you dig. I worry we'll end up a bored old couple that sticks together because its easy.

    I kind of expect that I'll reread this tomorrow and realize that I'm overreacting, but we'll see. Hopefully so. That's all I got to rant about right now.
     
    #1 jargon, Oct 10, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2012
  2. Gravity

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    321
    Likes Received:
    256
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's normal. Following the "honeymoon" period, people's ways of expressing emotion and affection will change (and will continue to do so throughout relationships at certain points). It's also not uncommon for one person to advance before the other, and for that other person (here, you) to feel a little left behind.

    Try coming at it from a couple angles - first, start working on accepting the fact that things aren't going to be completely "new" all the time anymore, but also, talk to her about your feelings and work on ways to occasionally give yourselves chances to feel "giddy" again. Maybe you could pick a specific night of the week to make a "date night," or even just a "we spend time together regardless of what we're doing" night.