Hi. I am 37 and have always felt different from other people. I have always thought of myself as stright although incredibly bad at making or sustaining straight relationships. Then six months ago I realised I was in love with a woman. She is a lesbian and when i told her how i felt she basically didnt believe me and we went from being really close to not speaking at all. I, however, know how I felt. I was in love. The problem is I am now dealing with the question of my own sexuality whilst trying to get over having my heart broken. All I ever wanted in life was a family of my own and now I feel like that is never going to happen and that makes me want to die. I just cant stop crying and feeling like my life is over. I just want to know how to stop this overwhelming confusion and pain
Well, there is not a magical way to stop confusion (we're all confused after all). What I can say is, don't be depressed by her turning down you, she might have her reasons. The same way you fell in love with her, you'll find sombody else, maybe someone you love more. And about having a family, you can still have it, but first you need to find your special someone. Don't approach the issue of your sexuality as if it's going to resolve in a second. Take it easy, step by step. You may be lesbian, or may be bisexual, or may be straight. It doesn't matter now, what it does matter, is that you still have life in front of you (after all, we're not on the first century, when lifespan were of about 40-50 years), so cheer up!!! you can still find your special someone. My stepmother found someone (my dad of course) way after the 40, and they love each other much. Just don't let the confusion take over it. In due time, it will clear itself, so just keep it up!!
Yes, take it one day at a time. It may seem hard now but just keep looking forward. There are so many people out there that you can meet. You will find somebody special!
