He's straight, he's pretty open-minded (sometimes too open-minded) and he has another friend that is gay. I really want to come out to him because that would be my final coming-out in regards to friends (ones that mean something to me). So, you're wondering why if he's so open-minded can I not come out to him? I have no idea either, I'm still really scared. I think the problem is that when we're drunk, we tend to kiss and touch each other up, in jest, but still, we do. Another factor is that I probably have feelings for him, but I can distance myself from that, I appreciate another individuals sexuality. He has once said to me before that he thinks he might be gay (when he was intoxicated), but soon retracted that statement and is 100% straight. That stuff doesn't matter though, I just want him to know who I am and like me for who I am. So, how do I tell him? How would you approach it? I don't want it to be anything elaborate, but I want him to know the deal. I'm gay, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to ALL men, that doesn't mean I'm attracted to him. Help?
If you can't just tell him, assume he already knows and say something like "That girl is pretty. If I wasn't gay I might ask her for a date." and see what he says.
Greetings! There's a few things to say: First, don't drink when you're going to tell him. Booze brings fake courage. It's best you find your own courage to tell him. Secondly, he seems to be struggling with himself. He is going through his confusion period alone, because he seems too unsecure to talk to his friends about it. He may not want to be gay, that's why he said it when drunk, and retracted. This means you should be careful when you talk about this with him, but talk it over. Select one day, and say to him you need to tell him something. And that day, say it. Tell him you want him to know you're gay, and that you care about him enough to want to tell him directly. When I told my friends I'm bisexual, I assured that I hadn't a crush on him and wouldn't try to hit on him ("tirarle los perros" is what I said :lol, and he answered to that with confidence. Just tell your friend you're not trying to hit on him, just that you want him to know you're gay. Hope this help you!! (*hug*)
My best friend is a straight guy and it was so hard for me to tell him. I started by giving him hints for a few weeks by like talking about gay rights and stuff to see how he reacted. Once I did that for a while, I just told him and he was fine with it! If he is truly your best friend, h will not care! Goo luck!
Planning on telling my best friend as well hopefully tomorrow or the next day. It's scary as hell but needs to be done, I have feelings for him as well and even think he may be gay as well but don't know for sure if he turns out to be completely straight I will move on but not stop being his friend. I really think like everyone else has said if they are true friends they won't care. I wish you luck.
My two closest friends are straight guys and I told both of them after a beer or two. You don't have to get completely wasted to the point of being unable to form sentences, but a bit of alcohol helps to loosen up. And from what I've seen from your posts you already like a drink so it's not like I'm spreading alcoholism Anyway. How I've told my two friends in the spoiler. Long story short: both of them couldn't care less, it wasn't a big deal at all. Spoiler I told the first one on a night out, made a promise to myself that I'd tell him that night. Near the end of it I said, in a kind of joking way, "are you up for a serious talk?" and then, being very VERY nervous, told him I'm gay. Not the best or the most subtle way but a coming out nonetheless. With friend #2 it was a bit easier. One night, when pretty drunk (yes that night I was), we were with a group of people talking about relationships and I was like, to my friend, "I do have something to tell about this... but I won't do it now". About a week later he asked "that thing you had to tell, what is it? I'm curious." Although it was pretty sudden and I wasn't prepared for it, I did tell him then. At least not being prepared also meant I didn't have a chance to worry beforehand My suggestion is that, in your head, you shouldn't make it any bigger than it is! I realise this is easier said than done, but you said your friend already has another friend who is gay so he most probably won't have any problem with it Just make sure that, when you tell him, you don't hurry or force it. If you've planned to tell him but, for whatever reason, feel like that isn't the right time or feel uncomfortable, I'd postpone it until next time you see him. A bit of nervousness doesn't count in this case, feeling nervous is pretty normal and he'll understand that. I do disagree with chrissouth53. Telling it like that might work with people you don't know that well, but in my opinion a best friend deserves more than that. Long post is long, I'm sorry. Hope it helps a bit. Good luck, keep us updated!
