Why did he lose attraction towards me because I told him not to care 4 me (in anger)?

Re: Why did he lose attraction towards me because I told him not to care 4 me (in ang

Mmmm, well, you didn't mean what you've saind in anger, so I don't think he means what he said about not loving you.

I think he got upset because he did love you (hurts when your loved one tells you not to care, believe me, I've been told too). But you two severed your bond. That's a thing too difficult to restore.

I don't think you can do much at this point, if you're not willing to risk everythin you have to get to him again (it's pretty clear you still love him). I think he can love you again, but it will require work and a lot of will from both sides.

If you talk to him, not to argue with him, just talk, don't let your emotions take over your determination. Talk about all you said on your post, and try to convince him you two may still have a future together if both have the resolution.

 

Re: Why did he lose attraction towards me because I told him not to care 4 me (in ang

9 times out of 10, the person expressing this sentiment isn't capable of being in a healthy relationship with the object of their affection. It was certainly true of me.

I believed I couldn't live without my bf and that meant that I relied on him for my sense of well-being and self-worth. My self-esteem was in direct proportion to how much affection he showed me. Which meant I was obsessed with him. And that degree of obsession is not healthy, it made our relationship terribly unbalanced and so, of course it ended.

Whenever I believe that I can't live without someone that is a strong sign that I need to let go of that person, because I cannot truly relate to him. He becomes more than human to me, and I risk losing my sense of self.

 

Re: Why did he lose attraction towards me because I told him not to care 4 me (in ang

Okay, I understand why you feel this way, I have felt the same for some weeks. BUT just like you say, the grass is always greener on the other side, and that is partially why you want him back: because you can't.

I'm in the same situation as you are, really, and I'm really struggling to be friends. I could say we're fighting more than we used to. Or, I should say: we're fighting now. We never used to. He said it was for the better, well he was wrong.
He told me it needed time, and I thought it also needed distance, but he didn't want me to go NC and I couldn't do it to him.
But I keep feeling better, and feeling worse, feeling better, then feeling worse. It's a rollercoaster that has been going on for almost a month and I can't keep doing this much longer. It's going to the point where I don't even want to see him anymore. I'm just generally starting to dislike him as a person. When two weeks ago I was crying because I wanted him back. A part of me still does, but that part is dying.

What I'm trying to say is, it needs time... When my ex and I first broke up I was also under the impression that love would win in the end, and that we could work on it. But at this point, you two have broken up, and you've probably shown him sides of you that he doesn't like, and vice-versa. Give it some time and the 'I want him back' feelings will fade. The hurt/confusion will need more time. Whether you keep distance or not, is up to you. It's often better to, though. Especially since he's happy with someone else. It's selfish of him if he doesn't respect your decision to go NC. Don't let the hurt it will cause him bother you too much, because he has hurt you as well. At least that's what I've been telling myself.

 

Re: Why did he lose attraction towards me because I told him not to care 4 me (in ang

You can disagree, but it doesn't make it any less true. That's called "denial".

The funny thing about emotions is that they don't drive our response, they simply heighten what we would do. So yeah, maybe you said something out of anger, but it was still a thought or idea you had in the moment that got magnified by the anger.

Bottom line is, you said it because at some point you thought about it. So remind yourself of all the very rational reasons you decided to call it off back then anyways. It's not like those qualities have magically changed in 4 months. If you were to get back together, you'd probably just have a repeat of what happened sooner rather than later.

Anyways, you're probably feeling jealousy. And/or the discomfort of being single, especially now that your ex is in a relationship. And of course, this ties back into what Mogget said about feeling a need to be with someone.

What can you do now? Well, you can sit and pine over some very, very unrequited love, or you can learn to be comfortable with yourself and move forward. I'd choose the latter, personally.