Hello EC! This is my first post on here, not including pictures. Nice to meet you all! Anywho, onto the actual topic here. I am a lesbian living in an extremely Christian environment and I am not out at all. Well, one of my friends knows. She sort of has been helping me through the realization process. But I haven't seen her in a long time (I moved away) so we just text. But yeah, so I am very much in the closet. I'm pretty much locked in there. Can't quite find the key yet. I grew up in my church and I love it and the people there. I don't want to lose that over something as simple as who I am. I have an extremely large extended family and we are very close and family is a huge part of my life. They're all very conservative Christians as well. Not to mention I know go to a Christian private/homeschool now this year. I am also a Christian and am very happy in that and comfertable with being gay in relation to that. So you can kind of see the problems I have. Sometimes I wish I was bisexual. I know that I'm never going to not be attracted to girls, but if I was just attracted to guys too the I could "ignore the gay" and find a man to be happy with. Then I'd never have to tell anyone. I'd never lose my church or my family. No risk, right? Too bad! I've tried and tried to like guys. Even when I had jus about convinced myself I was straight (every time I questioned it- at least every day- I'd be all 'no no, of course I'm straight!) I would 'crush' on the scrawny, pretty-faced boys. By crush I mean "hmm... I haven't liked anyone for a bit now. I think I'll like... Him! He's got a nice... Personality? Face? Yeah, let's go with that." So yeah. Denial's a lot of fun, isn't it? Ha. So basically the (intended, but it sort of grew into a rant) point of this post is that sometimes I just wish that I was bisexual. Anyone else ever wish that they were at least a bit attracted to the opposite sex? Or if you actually are bisexual, do any of you plan to only pursue the opposite genders? Just curious *end rant* By the way- I'm Mia. Nice to meet you!
Hi Mia, the reason why I selected these two parts is because these are popular misconceptions about bisexuality. Hate to tell you this but "the gay" can't be ignored even if you're bisexual. There's still the issue of "what if you fall in love with same sex"
Oh I don't mean to make it seem like bisexual people are 'choosing' to be gay or straight- I don't believe they really can. You can help it if you fall in love. I just mean that you have the potential for love with more than just one person. You can fall in love with someone of the same gender and not act on it. I don't recommend pretending to love someone you don't. I'm just saying that sometimes I, personally, wish that I even had the potential to fall in love with the opposite gender. Since then I believe I could love someone that my family approves of. I'm obviously very very bad a explaining things. Sorry. Maybe that cleared things up a bit? Really I think I just made my meaning even more confusing. Argh.
Don't worry I understand. But the having same-sex desires and not being to act on it is easier said than done.
I agree. About as hard as not having opposite-sex desires and trying to act on them anyways, I'd say I really can't make sense, can I?
Welcome to EC! First off the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. I'm bi and there are times when I wished I was either gay or straight. I'm married with children and even though I'm in a fantastic loving relationship, there is still the attraction to other guys that I'm repressing and not acting on. It seems like a part of me is not satisfied with my life and I'm depressed even though another part of me is very content with my life. If I was gay or straight I'd have a sexual attraction to one gender rather than both so wouldn't have to decide to satisfy one part of me to the exclusion of the other part of me. Trust me as a bisexual you don't just ignore the same sex attraction and desires they are there but repressed to stay faithful to the one you married.
I used to be very good at convincing myself of opposite-sex attraction and then still doing absolutely nothing about it Now I'm better at accepting same-sex attraction and also doing nothing about it. Go me.
i'm bisexual and i am comfortable knowing that when im ready to come out i will take part in both homo and hetero relationships
Hi Mia I'm also in the closet (currently, anyway) & I live in a pretty conservative family (we're not religious, though). Anywho, I grew/still live in a rural environment where there aren't really ANY openly gay people, and the thought of being homosexual (at least to my parents) is vile & disgusting. So trust me when I say that I know what it feels like.. I do feel though that my parents (& probably extended family's) distasteful views stem from the fact that they are merely ignorant & don't really understand it/refuse to understand it. I'm pretty sure if I could share my views with them that they'd learn to accept the fact that it wasn't my choice to be gay. But on to your topic; don't feel like you need to be bisexual. Screw society; you are who you are. I'm hoping peoples views will change with time, but there's no denying the fact that you're attracted to girls & that's that. I can't change that & you can't change that; much the same as I can't change the fact that I'm only attracted to guys. I kept trying to convince myself for years that I could like people from the opposite sex, but it was only at the start of this year that I realized that wasn't going to happen; it'll take time. Feel free to pm me if you wanna talk Luke. ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2012 at 02:31 PM ---------- On another note, I think it's kind of funny that my parents (some of the most homophobic people I know) unknowingly have a gay son. Hah.
Thanks Luke I'm sort of still in the process of accepting my sexuality. I still have moments where I freak out and try to 'go back to being straight'. Then the insanity passes an I realize that I can't return to something that never was.
Yeah, it really is impossible, lol. Honestly, ever since I hit puberty I've only been attracted to dudes. I do sometimes get emotionally attached to girls, but I've never felt any sexual desire/attraction toward them.
Yes! That is exactly me! Every now and then (although it hasn't happened in a long time) I get emotionally attracted or attached to a guy. I like his personality. Simple as that. But I can't imagine even kissing the dude without feeling uncomfertable With girls I can feel all of it. The emotional attraction and the physical attraction.
I find myself "preferring" girls in a lot of cases but I can't say that I choose it. It just sort of happens. Once I get older I fully intend on experimenting with same-sex relationships (can't really do that in my neighborhood, or at least not be honest about it) but I don't believe many bisexuals can really pick which side of the fence they lean into. But yeah, I'm sorry you aren't in a position where you can be open about your sexuality. I tried to ignore my sexual attraction to guys for a while but it doesn't really work forever, lol. After a certain point you pretty much just start lying to yourself.
I suppose the grass in the other garden always looks greener. :icon_wink I’ve sometimes wished to be straight or gay. You’ve got a whole gender you can just be friends with, without complexity to worry about. I feel worst when someone I’m attracted to is nice to me, but I seem cold in return. It’s because I’m nervous/attracted, and assume people are straight by default, so don’t want to show it with the same sex, but it probably seems like I just don’t like them. :bang: I finally managed to mostly overcome that with a new friend. Everything looks like it will be good, but I almost gave up on trying to be friends with him, because it was so hard. I was also over-analysing everything, which I think is common with crushes. There are good and bad sides to being bi. (*hug*)
I never really thought about that. I can't really imagine not being attracted to girls. Geez I was so stupid (still am- and too young to actually understand much) when I was trying to ignore the fact that I'm gay. I would see a girl and be like "wow she is beautiful! I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her and hug her and talk to her and- Oh look. It's a sort of attractive guy, I guess. Is he? Yeah, sure. Yup, I'm totally straight!" I mean, that's pretty pathetic. Anyways, I get what you mean by not knowing who's gay or straight. I have a bit of a crush on a friend who's (I'm assuming) straight. Not planning on acting on anything. How about this: Everyone is gay until proven straight
