K, so.. I've always been relatively good at dodging/avoiding awkward situations in relation to "girl talk", but lately I'm having a lot of trouble. Take tonight for example; I was sitting around the table with some of my family (Dad & step-mum) & some family friends. We talk about a lot of things, but I'm constantly asked things like "So have you met any flousies (spellcheck? I think it means "easy girls"..?) at university yet?", "So, are you going to bring back a special someone (girl) from Japan?", "You should've seen the reaction on Luke's face when he saw my bosses wife! I told him not to go there; hands off!" (My reaction was all staged, lol. I honestly felt no sexual attraction to her) etc. Because I've grown to kind-of accept who I am now, I'm finding it a lot harder to lie. Like, generally what I'll do is I'll just squirm/avoid eye contact & grumble/laugh. I also try & change the subject as soon as possible, but it's gotten to the point where I just avoid conversation all together because I fear the inevitable "sex talk about girls". Can't we talk about how hot guys are or something.. >_> Ergh.. *It's probably my fault though because I come across straight.
Well, the more you tried to lie about it, the harder to keep up with your own lies. The stress from lying and the chance of you screwing up/breakdown is proportional to the amount of lies you have. And I don't know about you, but I were lying about my true self for years, and it came to a point that I actually believe my own lies, and it result in self-denial, and finally, a crushing depression when all the lies break down I realized I had betrayed myself for all that time. I still regret so much doing that. So, I would suggest, and even urge, you to come out and be done with all that lies. But ultimately, that is your choice.
I read somewhere on here that you are ready to come out when the pain of being in the closet becomes greater than the potential pain of coming out. It sounds to me like you may have crossed that point. Maybe it's time you started coming out. It'll be scary but I think you'll feel a lot better. Are you in a family/social situation where coming out is safe?
I know exactly what you mean! I am not out to family or close friends so constantly have the question of why I haven't met a girl yet? I'll be out with friends and they'll be like "wow, how hot is that girl!" I just have to laugh and lie. But over time it has become increasingly more difficult. And then I'll get asked why I haven't got a girlfriend. I have to pretend I'm perfectly happy being single and am not interested in a relationship with anyone at the moment... Another blatant lie! Maybe one day you will grow tired of lying and just blurt out that you're gay! That's the way I'm feeling at the moment... Hopefully it will happen soon and I can stop lying!
Coming from someone who's been in your shoes, pretending is very difficult and it's going to start eating you up inside. I have a tendency to slip up sometimes around my friend's brother--she's not out yet. I've been trying to help her work up the courage to come out; she's tired of pretending/lying. Just know that you're not alone in this, we're all here for u
yep I pretty much don't respond to my friends saying things about girls any more my friends might think I'm gay or just reserved, which I am, sort of, in both respects I'm getting to the point were I don't want to hide it any more, so yep might just come out to a bunch of my friends tomorrow but yeah, its up to you there's a cliff, you'll eventually jump off it
dats so true dude whole day in college my frens will say hey dude dat new gal is so hot and i hv to go along and say stay away she is mine then they ll laugh abt it and the truth is , at that time i m usually thinking why the hell they are not noticing the hot guys around lol i do imagine me and my frens discussing abt them nd i ll fight for the hottest of them all ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2012 at 08:29 AM ---------- even today when we were listening to some boring lecture my roomie was saying dat new skin post graduate gal is hott.. and i was thinking comeon how cn smbdy not notice the hot 6 ft guy pg besides her wish i cud tell him dat and its sad dat i cnt
It's definitely true that major change happens only when the discomfort of the current situation is greater than the fear of change. So I agree this is likely what's going on for you. What stands in the way of your starting to come out?
WAIT WHAT? Did you went to Japan? Any hot boys/men there? lol But if you don't want to talk, just eat your food. Better eat them when warm! Not to mention, it's bad to eat and talk as you can swallow air. And you can even pretend that you need to study right after eating? lol
I was where you are at one point.. The will to come out will overpower the fear of the negative outcome. Not to be nosy, but do you go to Japan for schooling or something? O_O
My Grandma want me to find a guy and I don't want to at the moment ... I want a woman ... I'm not exactly lying but hiding, so I can relate ... It sucks ... The other day she asked if I had been in love with a guy before, I said yes (cuz I have been), And she said "Yay! There is hope!" ><
To echo what everyone else has said, when it gets to point where it's harder to lie than to bear to the consequences of coming out, it is probably time to come out. I've just started coming out and even though it didn't go well with my mom, I wouldn't change anything, I feel free for the first time. Before I started coming out, I was always lying about who I was and I just couldn't do it anymore.
