Greetings. I am 15 years old, bisexual, and running out of time. Unfortunately, due to reasons I would rather not state online, I only have about 5 to 7 years left to live and I need some help. I am in love with my best friend of two years. We share many things in common and enjoy each others company very much. Recently, I realized the deep affection and feelings I have for this girl and I love her very much. Yes, I know some of you may be thinking, "Oh you're too young to know anything about love!" or "Fuck off you hormonal bitch." but this is different.... She makes me feel whole. She pulled me out from a difficult moment in my life and I help her out of her socially awkward shell. All I want to do is make her smile, make her day, and simply make things the best for her. She is my everything and I'm too afraid to risk our beautiful friendship. However, I want something more. I want to hold her in my arms, greet her everyday by kissing her rosy cheeks and take her out to see the whole wide world together. I know for a fact that I am not in lust (the whole concept of sex scares and confuses me) and I'm sure as hell am not infatuated. I've had that experience before back in middle-high and trust me, this is definitely not the obsessive type of love. So, my 'end' is around the years of 2018/2019 . I will approximately be about 20 or 21 by then. I don't want to lie in my death bed thinking about what could have happened or regretting the decision to tell her if I do get rejected. I...I just...don't know anymore. The stats of my health aren't even entirely positive if I'm even going to expire on those years, but just in case, right? Should I tell her how I feel? I don't want to risk our beautiful friendship, but at the same time, I want something more. I know for a fact she's bisexual as well, but... please help me...
If she's bisexual as well, and you guys are that close, I think you could have a conversation with her about it. As long as you aren't agressive I think you guys could move past it even if she doesn't return those feelings. Awkward yes, friendship-ending no.
Well, you know the answer already. It is either doing that now, and face whatever consequence it might have right away. Or wait until it is too late and you lie there wonder what it would have been. If you guys are such close friends, she would not just end the friendship for such silly reason, even if she can't be more than friends with you. Also, look at it this way. The later you tell her, the less time and chance you get to be with her more than just friends. And in the case she cannot be more than friends with you for whatever reason, at least you know that you tried, and have everything resolved before you go. Take the chance.
First of all, I'm very sorry about the circumstance that you are in. Secondly, to get to your question, I didn't vote on a definitive answer because I don't really have one to give. You probably think that most people will discredit someone so young saying they are in love, but I totally understand where you're coming from. At 13, I developed very strong affections for this girl who was my closest friend. That was in 8th grade. I'm now a junior in college and still in love with her (even though it's a hopeless straight-girl unrequited love case). I've always considered it love, even at that young an age. I couldn't even describe how strongly I felt about her, and I just care about her and love her more than anything else. Basically, I was literally crazy about her. And I, too, knew it wasn't infatuation or lust. I never cared for sex; all I wanted was a deep emotional connection (and physical, in the hugging/cuddling sense). And I know I fell in love with her for her and not her looks, since I had known her for 3 years before I fell in love with her. So, I'm just saying this so you know someone's in the "same boat." Anyways, to get to your question, a part of me wants to recommend telling her but the other part of me says no way. Considering that you're dealing with time pressure here, you'd probably want to make the most of your life and go after someone you feel so passionately about. Luckily for you, you know this girl's bi. That's already a huge, huge plus! If you're both out to each other and comfortable with that, then expressing your affections may not scare her away as it might scare away a straight girl. You could very well make her your girlfriend, but then there's always that risk of the relationship going wrong and you losing her altogether. So it's a toss up between 1) safely staying friends, 2) telling her and scaring her away, 3) telling her and having your feelings reciprocated and dating, 4) dating and then breaking up and losing her after that, or 5) dating until (I'm sorry to say but) something happens to you. If #5 turns out to be the case, I would feel regretful for putting my girlfriend through that – to have a beautiful relationship and for her to lose you would break her heart. Like I said from the start, I don't really know what to advise you. I can only spell it out in my way of thinking and see if that helps your decision. Ultimately, it's up to you. Are you up for taking a risk? It may or may not be worth it. Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't say anything. My friend that I'm in love with and I are obviously in different circumstances than you and your friend, but even if I only had a week to live or something, I wouldn't express my true affections. I'd tell her I love her in the way that friends tell each other (and maybe I'd leave behind a letter pouring my heart out), but there's no way I would tell her in person and risk losing our relationship. I wish you the best of luck though, and I hope you come to your decision soon. Feel free to hit me up if you ever want to talk!
I am so sorry:tears: I feel that you should tell here, I mean even if you weren't going to pass away (I am so sorry to hear about this:icon_sad I would say the same thing. The things you will regret the most is the things you thought about doing, but didn't. I feel you should talk with here alone and explain to here about how you feel towards her, she may or may not feel the same way, but at least you would know one way or the other and not always wonder what could have been. From your description of her, I don't think she would stop being your friend if you told her, she seems to genuinely care about you. So again I say go for it:icon_bigg I hope you live a happy and joy filled life and I hope with all my heart that you don't die at that young of an age(*hug*) (&&&)(*hug*)
I think you should tell her. Just think would you rather wonder about what could have been? Or would you rather take a chance? I think taking this chance will work out for you!
I was in this same situation and i was an emotional wreck when i decided to tell her i was crying and freaking out. It worked out well though, she felt the same way and we were together for 2 years and we are still best friends to this day, 7 years later. ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2012 at 10:45 PM ---------- So there is hope for you
