I am attracted sexually to males sexually. Whenever I see a hot male, I constantly get a boner. Although, I don't like being with them. If I go close, I lose my boner and get irritated, TO ANY GUY I"VE MET. Another thing is, I HATE gay porn. I find it disgusting for two men together. I like masturbating to straight porn with a beautiful girl and a hunky guy. PS: I also find anal sex DIGUSTING The other side is that I deeply love this chick in my grade. I feel like I live my life for her and should do everything to make her happy, BUT, I don't get turned on by her. I feel awkward and shy around her, and my heart beats 1200x faster when she's near. I have also tried imagining doing IT with her, but it still doesn't turn me on but I kind of like the idea. It's not something overwhelming but Ive had wet dreams of her but most of my wet dreams are MEN. If you guys were in my shoes what would you think you were?
It sounds to me like you may be gay, but you just haven't accepted it yet. There is a ridiculous message in society that being gay is wrong. So you think that guys are hot, but your brain reacts by saying it's wrong to be gay so this is why you find the idea of 2 guys being together disgusting. I think you're in denial. Have a read of some stories on this site, there will be plenty of other people in a similar situation to yourself, and lots of people who'll be able to give you advice .
I'd be inclined to agree. When I was in jr high/high school, it never *occurred* to me that I might be gay. Looking back on it, I can totally see now that I was attracted to guys early on, but I was utterly oblivious. I suspect that the feelings you have for the girl have more to do with wanting to be attracted to her, basically knowing you should feel attraction to her. Likewise, a lot of gay guys who are in denial profess their disgust for men having sex, anal sex, and so forth... it's part of the denial process. Most genuinely straight men are more like "Meh. Doesn't do anything for me." So looking at those things, and if your sexual desires are toward men... that's likely where your orientation lies. There's a great thread here called something like "How I went from straight to gay" that has a very good description of someone that was in (what sounds like) a very similar circumstance to yours. You might search for it and read it thorugh and see if it connects for you.
Time will tell what u like, u may not be attracted to guys in all ways now, but 5 years from now u may, just wait it out. It sounds like your gay or bi
Thanks for all the replies! ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2012 at 07:07 PM ---------- Just one question: ---------- Post added 12th Oct 2012 at 07:13 PM ---------- Just one question: Don't homosexual men happened to be really great at getting along with women ( I mean in friend zones)? But, why do I feel awkward when I am with SOME girls. For the girl I like, I blush and can't talk straight to her. I find her beautiful, but my penis just does not agree with me. I don't care if I will not be sexuall happy with her as long as I want to get along with her.
Well... there are all sorts of stereotypes that have their basis in truth, but of course they're just that... stereotypes... which means they don't apply to all. For example... I'm gay, but have *very* few female friends and connect better with men than with women. But I have gay friends who have mostly female friends. I do think that gay men who like women have a very unique and special relationship with them. Think of the 2 main characters on Will and Grace; they were best of friends, extremely close, totally aware of everything going on for each other... but Will was not in any way sexually attracted to Grace. While they love and care for each other deeply as friends, there's no question Will is a total poof, and Grace is his dearest friend, not his romantic partner. So perhaps you feel that same sort of thing. The characterization of those two does mirror the relationship of a lot of gay men and their "fag hags"
I can kinda understand from girls point of view. I do get nervous sometimes around hot guys and in theory it sounds great to have one but when it is time to have sex i get annoyed and irritated, i can have sex with them but do not enjoy it. With girls tho i can see a tomboy one walking by and i just turn into a freakin predator wanting to get a game on. I felt in love with a boy, lived with him for 6 years, was about to get married having no clue why i dont really enjoy sex and its uncomfortable until it took 2 weeks for a lesbian that wanted me to break it all up. And i was so clueless i liked women. And yes gay sex did seem wrong and gross and so not a girl thing to me. Its all about the way you were raised i guess. It is perfectly normal now.
What you're describing kind of sounds like you're bisexual a little. If you really can't build a bond with a guy, then listen to those emotions. Because you have the sexual desire of men, I kinda would have to know what exactly you think about and what those guys look like and also how old you are. It could also be that you're just now learning that girls are awesome to talk to. There can always be girls who are captivating. But yeah, if you can give a little more info, that would help.
I think you are feeling a little bit insecure about romance in general, and don't have the confidence per say to stick to one realization only. From what I know about childhood, adolescence, and growing up, a person may have many layers onto what they "defend" as their sexual interest. But when you take away the layers [aka: people you use to defend your sexuality] you look at your patterning growing up and who you CHOSE to work for the affections for. Did you have to work HARD for BOTH GUYS AND GIRLS? Or was girl companionship a bit too easy for you? Where you were frustrated and chose either a path of lies or honesty will show. Got to be honest with yourself. If you were bullied, and try to lie your way to please men constantly, then I think you have shaped yourself to be gay in a sense.
