I have been dating my current girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Before that we were very close friends with a sexual history. She now has a 3 year old, so that intensifies our relationship even more. I love him as if he were my own and truly think of them as "my family." My girlfriend has been battling depression on and off for a lot of her adult life, due to childhood traumas. She is currently in therapy and trying her 3rd antidepressant. She is in transition right now from one to another so all of the depression symptoms are out and strong! It takes its toll on me, and she tells me not to take it personally. But it's hard not to when the person you love is not interested in anything, sex or otherwise. I know these are classic depression symptoms, but it doesn't make it easy. I just don't know what to do, stay or go? I love her and don't want to leave her, but it's very hard to not let it affect me and my mood. Was just wondering if anyone has experience with this? I'm trying to learn as much as I can about the illness but its just tearing me down. Thanks in advance for any advice!
I don't know if this'll be helpful or not, but here goes. I'm 1) not a female, 2) never been in a relationship, and 3) the depressed person, not the person related to them. Anyways, in trying to look at it (sort of) from her shoes, even though she seems to not care about anything she likely does, but can't muster the energy to do anything. At least that's how I feel when I'm in a funk. If you mean stay or go as in leave the relationship, well, this might sound selfish but I don't think it's necessarily fair to leave just because the other person is going through a rough time. I could understand moreso if it was a really short lived relationship, but you have quite a history with this person. The thing is, I can't really know the extent to which her depression is affecting your life, so it becomes a little hard to give solid advice. This is not to guilt trip you or anything either, because ultimately you need to look out for yourself first and foremost, but if you do decide to end the relationship, try not to just drop out of her life altogether. If she's already struggling with you there, it'll probably only get worse if you're gone, especially given how close you sound. Anyways, if you want to hang around, I'd suggest finding something else to occupy your time. Maybe pick up a hobby or spend more time with other friends, something fun and upbeat. Then as you see fit, you could try inviting your girlfriend/her son to go along with you. Hopefully that helps some, and welcome to EC!
You are both going through a tough time. My advice would be to look after yourself but give it some time to see if the treatment she is receiving will help. Focus on the 3 year old. Take him to a playground and get yourself out of the house for a while. Keep yourself healthy by eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep. Reassess your situation in 3 months and see how you feel. I wish you the best through this tough time.
