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Have A Boyfriend... But Have A Crush?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by secretguyX, Oct 12, 2012.

  1. secretguyX

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    So I have a boyfriend, and we've been going out for about a month and a half, and I like him. But I also really have a crush on this girl. She's my friend at least. But I feel bad. Is this wrong? I mean I know I can't help my feelings.

    One of my guy friends thinks it's cute, and normal to happen, and that as long as nothing happens that there's nothing wrong with it. Another guy friend said that it's not a big deal. But another guy friend today asked why i wanted to like someone else, and I was like I don't, but I can't help it. But I mean he doesn't seem to think I should spend time with her (she's straight though) unless I were single. I don't know.

    This happened to me the last time I had a boyfriend too. I just feel like I can never be happy in a relationship, and I don't know why.
     
  2. Crazyguy

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    I can relate. I think the problem is the internal conflict you feel because you are attracted in two different directions. You can have one or you can have the other but you can't have both but you want both, in fact a part of you needs both. I wish I had a good solution to this dilemma but I don't.
     
  3. metoo

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    I would think about which kind of attraction it is to each person. If it is only sexually attraction to the girl then I would think that it is no big deal, as long as sex doesn't actually take place. If it is emotional, I would compare it to the attraction you feel to your boyfriend. And which is more important to you? The attraction to your boyfriend or the attraction you have to your crush. If you only feel attracted to girls when you have a boyfriend then you may want to ask yourself, is being with a guy causing longing and lonelyness because it is cutting out on your femmine joys of life. Keep in mind, your still young and have a lot of time to figure everything out. I'm sure you will find a relationship that will work for you eventually. Good Luck.