Coming out confusion?

So, I came out as genderqueer/fluid and as pansexual today to two friends. I wasn't planning on it, actually, it sort of just happened. We were in the library at lunch. it went like this:
Me: "Today is a momentous occasion!"
A: "Huh? Why?"
Me: "It's Friday, stupid."
B: "It is? Oh yeah! I love Fridays!"
A: "I'm pretty sure we all do."
Me: *Sighs dramatically and uses fake lovesick voice* "I would marry Friday if I could."
A: "So would they pronounce you husband and wife, or husband and husband?"
(I'd already told them to call me by male pronouns-which they never seemed to remember- and call me Kal instead of Kaley -which they also never remember, but that's beside the point- because, frankly, I just couldn't stand being called she by them. Even though my best/closest friends still do. But then -when A almost outed me with his big mouth- I told A that I wasn't completely sure. But more on that later.)
Me: "Assuming Friday is a dude?"
A: "Yeah."
I thought for a moment.
Me: "We would be announced as 'Person and their Spouse'."
A: "Oh, so you're one of those genderless people."
Leave it to A to go and make off-the-wall assumptions before I can even explain. (He does it quite a lot, actually, which is super annoying.)
Me: "Okay, so you know what genderless is, do you know what an androgyne is?"
A: "No."
I told him and B what they are. Then I explained that I'm sometimes androgynous, but sometimes without gender, and other times I feel like a dude, but never really like my assigned gender (female) and that I sort of flip-flop through these, and that's why I asked them to call me he, and Kal. And that I'd probably end up just describing myself as genderqueer/fluid.
B: "So then what sexuality would you describe yourself as?"
Me: "Pansexual."
B: "Oh."
A: "What's that?"
B explained to him what it is, and her definition actually matched mine pretty well, which surprised me.
Then we started talking about something else.

The confusing part is that I didn't get this huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I am not in anyway relieved. Coming out just confused me because:
1. Who I came out to. I've known these people since only about a month ago, if that. They're my friends, yeah, but my best friends who I've known for a LOT longer than that don't even have a clue that I'm not straight. Neither does anyone -except one of my sisters- from my family. I mean, I have reasons for that.
* My best friend is super super religious. (And by that I mean Christian, and not a very loose one either. Super strict when it comes to Leviticus 18:22, but she one who would never think of stoning her mother, who, according to Exodus 22:20-21, needs to be stoned on her father's doorstep. You know the type.)
* My family is the exact same way, except worse, because I live with them and they have power over me. And, both of my grandfathers were preachers. One uncle who lives in my town is. My dad loves Chik-fil-a only because it "Stood up against" gay marriage. (Before that it was too expensive, but now apparently it's okay because the big boss man doesn't like gays. I dunno. And I don't want to talk about what was said around my house around that time. I'm really sort of ashamed to even live with these people, but they're my family and I'm stuck with them so whatever.) If they found out about the pansexual part, it'd be terrible, but the trans* part? Once, my dad and sister were talking, I don't know what about, but then she says, "Some guys like wearing dresses though. Like, trannys and stuff." then dad says "Lauren, those people are disgusting." I interjected, said "But what about girls who wanna wear boys clothes?" (And yeah, thinking of myself) But dad said "Those people are sick! They have something wrong in their heads, they need to be FIXED." And I left the room.
Another time, I commented that it would be nice to wear guy's jeans because the pockets are so much bigger. (They seriously are, have you ever worn girls' jeans? They suck.) And dad, his usual charming self says "You want to wear boys' jeans?" I say "Boys' pockets at least." And, of course, he says "Gross." (He also said that when I told him that if I ever had a kid -which he knows I won't, I've made the no children rules clear- anyway, if I ever had a kid I'd name them Luke, if it was a boy, girl, or whatever the sex of it, because it's a really pretty name.)

My mom's side is a whole 'nother story though. They're really pretty accepting. Of course that'd be the side I DON'T live with. I want to move in with her, though. Really bad, because the things I said above are only some of the things I care to write or remember, and that's no counting all of the times my grandpa (Who my sister, dad, and I live with) has said "Idiot queers" or something like that. I feel suffocated here. I can't breathe. But yet I told two people I don't even know all that well, and who go to school with me and my "best" friend, who goes to my church, and if she finds out, you can be sure the church will, and if the church does, my dad will, and, well, you get it. Telling them only added to all the stress and I don't know what to do and why I even thought coming out would be a good thing in the first place.
At this point, I just need advice on what to do, or if you've been in the same situation, or one like it, please tell me your experience so I can learn from it. Thank you for taking the time to even read this if you've read this far.
(As a writer, I hate this whole thing, because I know I've made a ton of errors, but I'm too tired and jumbled up to go and fix them, so, yeah, every post I make won't be this horrendous.)