Well, the reason I came into this community was because I had a madly intense crush on my best mate, whom I'd assumed was straight until we had shared a moment if you catch my drift. Well after said events he was an ass, yada yada yada. Anyhoo, the two of us haven't spoken for about 7 or 8 months. Its been longer than I was with my ex which was about six months. Then just yesterday I see my ex-bests family come into my work and they all just kind of stared at me like "wtf are you still doing here?" So, I dismissed it and went about my day being a busy worker bee. After I got off work I needed to stop at the Walmart to buy some things. And, of course this would happen, I walk in and who is there right in front of me? My ex best friend, ugh. I immediately started to get really shaky and nervous and just walked off as soon as he looked at me. I thought I was over him but now I realize that I've really just been hiding my interest in him with other things. There's so much I wish I would've had the courage to say to him but my brain was like "if you try to talk to him he'll hit you in the face." And I'm not too fond of being hit, I've never even fought anyone. Anyway, the point is I think what I feel for him is wayyy more than just a crush. I can't get him out of my head at all now. I just want him back in my life- as a friend or as a lover I don't particularly care. If you need more information just let me know I can retell the initial events if necessary. I just need some help here, I don't know what to do. Obviously trying to forget about him didn't work.... And neither did giving him space. What would you do?
What do you mean when you say shared a moment? I was just wondering because it sounds like he could be very confused about his sexuality and that's why he's avoiding you. How long were you friends with this guy? I think the best advice I can give you is to try speak to him. It's been months since you've spoken to him... Surely he will be ready to talk now. If he still doesn't want to talk to you then it's his loss. You've done all you can and will have to move on, however hard that may be for you. Hope this helps
Not to be blunt, but if you expect him to hit you in the face should you try to talk to him, then...why, exactly, do you want him back in your life? If you have a lot of things you want to say to him, maybe you could at least try writing them down, or even posting them, as a way to "say" them and get them off your chest. Even if they're not directed at this guy, expressing them could be really good for you.
@Closet88: Yeah, we had given oral to each other one night and it all started going downhill from there. I had known him since I was a junior in high school, so I would say 4 or 5 years we were friends. More like 5 because I was 16 when we met. @Gravity: Well, the only reason I suspect this boy would want to physically hit me is because I had told a friend of mine what happened between us and my friend then relayed said information to this girl he was trying to get with at the time. And yeah, an even bigger mess was created. I didn't intend for it to snowball so quickly I just wanted to get it off of my chest but things will happen. Anyway, prior to all of this he was never a bad guy. He waas always really kind, supportive, and interested in me and whatever I was doing or wanted to do, you know? Hmm yeah I see how writing down what I want to say could help.
It's unfortunate that word got out that way, but even so, whether he was a good guy or not before this, if you're wondering whether he'll hit you now, then that might be a sign all on its own. Give writing it out a shot then - it can't hurt anything.
Yeah I started on writing something but I sort of got lost. And then I had to leave for work so I couldn't finish it. I just feel like a really heavy guilt for losing him like that. And its really hard to shake this feeling. I'm starting to notice my work suffering because my mind is always running in circles about him and how close we were. I think I'd even be fine just knowing that he spent completely hate me you know? Like having peace in knowing that we didn't leave with frayed ends.
