Hello EC members, So, I've come out to quite a few people these last few months, and everyone has been extremely supportive! I feel like I'm ready to come out to the world. I'm just sick of hiding. I know a lot of people come out on Facebook, whether they post an intimate status update explaining their feelings or they simply change their "interested in" status. I kind of want to do something along these lines, but I wanted to know if anyone had advice regarding which method I should use (obvious or subtle) and how to put it all together. I understand a lot of people on Facebook friend pretty much everyone who asks. I, on the other hand, only friend people I care to have know what goes on in my life. I am pretty sure everyone would be supportive (shocked perhaps, but supportive). Another dilemma I run into is that I am not yet out to my cousins who are also my friends on Facebook nor their parents (my aunt and uncle). I have a few other family members outside my immediate family who are my Facebook friends who don't know yet. I'm only really close to the cousins I mentioned and my aunt and uncle, though. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
This depends on your security settings. Sometimes it will show in other people's news feed that "so and so changed their interested in".
I changed my 'interested in' and suprisingly my mom, who knew, noticed it like the next day. I don't think many others did though. If you want all these people to know anyway, a status update isn't a bad way to tell everyone. I didn't like the idea of doing that, even though I didn't mind anyone knowing anymore, it just wasn't something I wanted to do. So I have liked lgbt things, and I posted about seeing magic mike, lol. I pretty much act as if I am out, which I am, even if I havent directly told every single person.
I'm in no position to give advice on this subject. But, if you would please excuse the interuption and allow me, I do have a question in regards to something that one of your guest spoke of. What does "pan" mean? greg
Yeah, I think I'm almost ready to be all the way out. My concern with my family was more that they would find out on Facebook when everyone else did (or at least my cousins would). It's like I'm almost positive my cousins would be supportive and so would my aunt. I've always felt a little bit of a disconnect with my uncle, though. He often asks if I've seen any "hot girls" lately and things like that. He was a business man up until the economy went in the crapper and e was forced to retire, trying to convince people to buy this insurance or that plan, etc. It's like he has this mind set where he is always right and he tries to convince you to agree with him. Don't get me wrong. He's a good guy who has done a lot of wonderful things. In fact, my aunt and uncle are good friends with their neighbors who are lesbians. I'm just not sure how they'll react when I eventually tell them. ---------- Post added 13th Oct 2012 at 09:09 PM ---------- Uhhhh...I can't seem to find where "pan" shows up, but pan when referring to sexuality means "pansexual," or attracted to all genders. It's somewhat similar to bisexual; however, there are subtle differences. Some bisexuals refer to themselves as pansexuals in order to avoid negative connotations that have become associated with the term bisexual.
I don't exactly have advice, but my uncle put on facebook that he was interested in men and women because he was thinking friend wise lol everyone got a kick out of that.
I did it two months ago on Facebook under similar circumstances. I just posted a status that I was gay, it wasn't a frape, told people to fuck off if they didn't like it, and asked them to not tell my family. I edit the settings to make it custom, and blocked it from my family and family friends from seeing. Whatever you do, just make sure that you clarify it's not a frape. I still get people asking me if I'm gay or not. -_-
For some people it's liberating. For me, I kind of look at it like.. why is it important for me to tell everyone that knows me when.. I only care about maybe 50 people on my FB lol. Out of 600 lol. I mean, this does it for some. For me.. I prefer a personal interaction. I only tell people who ask or people who want to be friends.
I'm out on FB when I did many people didn't even notice, a couple deleted me.. guess they were not friends to begin with!
I changed my "interested in" to women and put this as my status: No more denying, no more hiding, it's right there for everyone to see, I will be free to be me. I tried to fit in but stood out instead. Everything got so messed up inside my head. I'll wear my rainbow proudly and I'm not afraid to admit it quite loudly *Takes a bow* You're welcome to use that as your status message too, after you've changed your interested in. Not everyone is very attentive when it comes to subtle changes, like your interested in, but I guarantee there will be some who will notice, and word gets around pretty quickly. At least, in my circle of friends it did. I also "liked" a page called LGBT News and they often post quite awesome gay and lesbian-related stuff on there, which I share on my wall. You could maybe look into that too? People catch on quickly I have family as well as friends on FaceBook, and quite frankly, don't care what everybody thinks or how they feel about it. It's an easy way for me to come out to numerous people at once and those who choose to ignore it - well, their loss. I'm (still) going through a lot of physical changes (changing my haircut to an even shorter one and my wardrobe) along with a few other things, like accessories, so I'm sure it'll sink in eventually and might also help my parents finally accept me as I am. So from someone who took the leap, I say go for it
I came out on Facebook last week by posting a picture of a badge saying "I'm the rainbow sheep in the family". Family members who didn't already know saw it and nobody cared. Some people were very supportive and there were no bad reactions I'd say go for it!
If you want people to COMMENT, you should make an announcement. If you want people to know, but you don't want to invite them to comment directly on your sexuality, you can change your interested in to men, and then just start posting lots of gay-related stuff. Then people will see all the gay-related stuff, and they will think, "I wonder if FishMan27 is gay." This will lead them to check the info in your profile, and they will see, why, yes, he is! But you will not know who has seen it and who has not seen it. This is actually true anyway of Facebook announcements. Facebook announcements are only appropriate if you are comfortable enough with your sexuality to deal with it sometimes being ambiguous whether a specific person knows or not.
For me, I guess I just feel like I'd rather get it out in the open and not have to explain it every time someone brings up girlfriends or stuff like that. Also, I have fewer than 200 FB friends, and I care about all of them. Brava! Brava!
Hmm, I wouldn't 'announce' it, just subtly tell them. I can't think of anything worse than people making a huge spectacle out of their sexuality. Just be like, yeah I like guys.
Well, I've thought about doing that. It would be nice if the world was simply ready to accept people who are gay as soon as they know they are gay so there wouldn't be so much time spent hiding in fear. Part of me would like to do exactly as you say. That's the way things should be. I've already come out to a lot of my close friends in that way. I just don't want to prolong having to explain to each individual person that I'm gay and I've been hiding it ever since I first knew all those years ago.
I know what you mean, it gets rather tedious and redundant having to 'come out' constantly to individuals. Thats why after all the people who were important knew, I just assumed everyone did. Every now and then I have to correct people or tell people who I want to know that don't seem to. But for the most part, everyone knows as far as I know, and I feel free to just be me. That being said, telling some family is important. I forgot to directly tell my oldest sister, who I don't see but once or twice a year now. She wasn't too happy finding out so late, lol. She wasn't mad, but just like 'of all people, you didn't tell me!?' We are both kind of the black sheep.
