Bisexual Guys - Telling Girls

My opinion is exactly that - bisexuals are closeted gay people. I speak from experience (my experience).

 

I think for the relationship to be healthy then yes, you should let her know you're bisexual.

 

Well, it's kind of tough when I think about it. Do you tell her immediately, or do you tell her when you begin to develop feelings? I realize I just asked a question when I'm supposed to give an answer lolol. Okay, let me just say that.. for the sake of being trustworthy, it's something you should in the beginning, to give her the opportunity to think about it. That's a big deal for women. If you've been doing it with no success, wait till you've impressed her and then do it. I don't really like the ladder, I think it should be upfront, well..when you first realize that either she likes you or you're beginning to like her.

 

Speaking as a woman who has dated bisexual men, I like to know relatively early...whenever 'the talk' happens about your sexual preferences, past experiences etc. For me it's just part of getting to know someone. If you're in a sexual relationship with someone it's nice to know where your partner is coming from in that regard. Also, if your gf takes it hard or treats you differently then you probably want to know sooner rather than later because maybe they aren't the person for you.

My last boyfriend was terrified to tell me that he had had sex with men because when he had told his gf of 7 years she was horrified and disgusted. It made me so upset that he felt he had to hide that part of himself. I asked him lots of questions about his experiences and tried to help him realize it was not only OK with me but that I thought it was awesome! Him thinking other guys were hot didn't change our relationship, in fact it made intimacy even better...

My 2 cents.:icon_wink

 

Nah, lots of gays try to make their stand on the "bisexual" ground.

As for the actual topic, yeah, you may want to. It keeps the trust between you strong.

 

I think so. My first girlfriend was okay with it.

I understand most women wouldn't date a bi guy but you have to find one that will.

This is not true for everyone though.

---------- Post added 14th Oct 2012 at 03:10 PM ----------

:eusa_clap

 

I think coming out as bisexual can be premature.. I recognize it as a confused state sometimes. But right, Dave, it depends on the person. I do think someone can truly be bisexual, but i'm not open to a bisexual relationship with someone. To me it's the same as being involved with those "straight" guys I've been with.

 

Like everyone else said, while some people might use "bisexual" as a stepping stone to "gay", it doesn't mean that ALL bisexuals people are confused or in denial. There are bisexual people out there and that is their sexuality.

Like some people have already said, I think you should try to be honest with the person you are dating. If you keep your sexuality a secret then it might eat you up inside in the future and you will feel trapped.

That being said, it also depends whether or not you see the relationship as either a long-term relationship or a short-term relationship. I would only really worry about it if the relationship is a long-term one.

 

Depends what type of girl you're dating and how serious it is.

Me personally, if I'm seeing somebody I'm not serious at all with, I won't bother telling them about me. It works best to seduce anyway if I just listen instead of talk.

However, if I want anything long term, more serious stuff, I become extremely picky of who I am with. For one, a girl who would be frightened/anxious/close minded about me being bisexual just would not be good enough for me. I'd pass to the next one, too bad.
I would let it out when it comes out and if she likes it, good for her. I'd still be interested in her. Usually it would be in the first, second or third date.

I sound like a jerk heh? My reasoning: I've done my part of being in doomed relationships with the wrong people. I have no wish to make the type of compromise that I'm not comfortable making or living with. I've had my share of drama, I've matured, fought my demons and got rid of my baggage and I expect no less from any-whom I would even consider spending the rest of my life with. It's to take or leave.

( By the way I did good; I've found the one for me and married her)

 

I think that if you don't tell her, it will not be possible for you to be as emotionally intimate with her as you ultimately should be, in a long-term relationship. You would be concealing a substantial part of your true self from her.

 

On the contrary, you speak from a position of relative inexperience having never met an out bisexual personally. That's not a very positive attitude to have.

If someone told you to your face, "I think all gay people are just trans and in denial. I eventually got the courage to admit it. Some day you will too", how would you feel about that? That would be pretty demoralizing to be bombarded with that constantly wouldn't it?

...

 

Ok, I may be new here, but this just isn't fair. Yeah, maybe you had the experience of coming out as Bi first simply because you didn't want to admit that you were all the way on that 5-6 range on the Kinsey Scale, but I can assure you that Male Bisexuality exists... I speak from my experience here.

I would have come out in my teens, but one thing always held me back (besides the fact that most of my friends were conservative christians who would have burnt me at the stake). That thing was GIRLS. The way they walk, the way they smell, the way they smile... Sure I like men as well, but women have an allure that my own sex cannot capture. Plus perfectly proportioned breasts and the glory and wonder of the vagina, yeah I couldn't give that up, any more than I could give up the urges I had towards men. So, I sat on the fence... for years.

Once I realized that Male Bisexuality wasn't just a myth, everything clicked into place. I can now reconcile both sides of my psyche and it feels great. I am so ready to be out the rest of the way.

So, lwp08reh? The LGBT community, our community, gets enough prejudice and prejudgment as it is. Do we really need it coming from within? Bisexuals have to come out too, and the middle ground is a lonely place. We may be only half Gay, but we're all Queer!

So, speedracing22, stay strong! Yeah some girls won't be open to the revelation that you have slept with men but, if they aren't open to your true self, do you really want to be with a girl like that?

 

I would definitely mention it very early on. If she's not going to be accepting of you, she's not the type of girl you should want to date.

 

I'd disclose early. First, if you don't, then you're beginning from a position of distrust in your partner. That's unfair to her. Second, if it turns out that your distrust is warranted, you'd rather figure out she's biphobic earlier than later when your level of emotional investment is higher.

Honestly, I'd feel much safer to date women as a bisexual guy than men. See my reason below:

Your attitude is terrible, and this isn't even a topical response to the thread. The question is "when should one disclose sexual orientation to one's date?" This thread is not an invitation for you to violate the safe space principle by saying every single bisexual person is a closeted gay person. We don't exist as a community for you to behave like this.

In b4 you try to claim your general statement wasn't categorical.

 

Is complete denial of any bisexual identity what you meant by "a very black and white attitude" in this post?:

 

I probably wouldn't say it on the first date, but would come out early in the relationjship. The reason not the first or second date is so she could see me as a person instead of a stereotype.

 

Although I'm Bisexual I do actually prefer mostly having and/or being in a relationship with Women. However, I've also recently decided to be open (aka out of the closet) with Women. Since many things have changed a lot in our current society with regards to the acceptance of sexual nature and along with the once widely considered sexual taboo's I think it's eventually going to become more common for Men to openly identify as Bisexual. Just like Women who are open about being bisexual really have little to zero worries of being looked down upon in Society as time progresses the same will apply for Men. A lot of what use to be considered off limits or taboo is now but a redundant past time even. It's really not even remotely uncommon for their to be Adult Websites popping up in common dating website search queries either i e. Married and looking, Swinger Couples, Gay and/or Lesbian, Bisexuals, Poly and open relationships, etc. Unfortunately for Men it's not exactly easy if your Bisexual. It would be nice for that change to gain acceptance though. I think Women would be quite surprised to find that there is no reason to have concerns about giving Men who are Bisexual the benefit of the doubt and that change and/or exploring the opportunity of being with a Guy who's Bisexual is perfectly okay. I'm definitely pursuing that very premise myself surprisingly there actually are many Women out there who are perfectly okay being a Guy that's Bisexual! I can't speak from experience on behalf of Women that are openly Bisexual, etc But personally for me it is in a turn-on for me in a very BIG way. I know that I'd most certainly love to have a Woman who's interested in being involved with me and another Guy and wanting to experience something different together sexually! So yeah it would be great to see things change and for more Women to consider being more open minded about Bisexual Guys.

 

NOT!