Hello to all who give my thread a read. I am 19 years old and I have always known I was gay. I struggled with accepting it for as long as I can remember and experienced thoughts of running away from home and even thoughts of suicide. My parents are divorced and I live with my highly religious mother and also my brother who recently came back from bible school. Perfect hey? Of course I would be born into a gay-hating ignorant family who think "HIV/AIDS is strictly a gay thing." They think being gay is a choice. My relationships with both of them are strained due to the fact that I will not attend their church. I have come out to my two best friends and my aunt who I 100% trust and to be honest, without these three people I do not know if I would even be alive still. They all support me and have my back. When it boils down to the question of me coming out.. I have some major things to consider. I know who I am and am not ashamed of my sexual orientation. I am happy to be gay. Along with these feelings, I know that I will have to forfeit my relationship with my family and at my present age I am ready to give it all up. I am ready to leave this poisonous life of sadness and depression in order to start a truth filled life where I can lead an unapologetic lifestyle. So yes I am ready... But... One of my biggest road blocks is the financial security I have while living this life. I have a very large portion of money available for my education.. But it is under my mom's name. If I came out, I could potentially lose all of it. I have considered moving across the country to the city of Toronto in hopes of being able to start new and distance myself from the destructive environment I am currently involved in. Again, I am weary of the financial stress I would be forced to carry. I could most likely afford it but I know I would be solely depending on myself.. And thats terrifying. I have been trapped in this life of mine for so long, it almost seems impossible that there is another world out there for me to enjoy. I am trapped in this prison and my hope to one day be happy and one day be loved is slowly shrinking. If you have ever lived in an extremely religious family and some how broke free.. Can you simply just say that it is possible... That it is possible for me to be happy.
''That it is possible for me to be happy''of course you can bo being stuck with your family wont last and as the old saying goes it does get better.when i was younger my whole life seemed to be torture but now im pretty happy.im not saying always happy but i really love life now something i highly doubted i would do when i was younger.the problem with being young is you are dependent on family but as you become more independent you gain the ability to leave bad situations.trust me there's a lot to look forward to.
