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How to reject homophobes?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by wonderingdave01, Oct 14, 2012.

  1. Okay, so far I've divided my friends into 3 categories

    1. Real Friends - the ones who would accept me if I came out
    2. Fake "Friends"- the ones who said they'll stop being "friends" with me if I came out
    3. And I-don't know-friends - who I'm not sure about

    The problem is I want to be "out to everyone" but how do I reject or end the "friendships" with people who won't accept me? The fake "friends" are not as valuable to me as the real ones. There's not that many fakes ones and the fake ones are really annoying, and I don't like to talk to them but they still act all "friendly" to me.

    How do I cancel the fake ones out of my life?
     
  2. Lance

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    Won't they cancel you out of theirs first? Lol An easy way to cancel a friendship is to stop talking to them and basically ignore them.
     
  3. channel48

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    Tell the that. Tell them if they can't accept you than they don't mean anything to you and that you don't want to be friends. Tell them to leave you alone if they can't accept you. Coming out does mean the possibility of losing a few friendships so be prepared. I hope it all works out. :slight_smile:
     
  4. I know but is it immature if I want to beat them to it? :icon_redf

    Thank you but It's hard. He keeps talking to me.

    Thank you. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 wonderingdave01, Oct 14, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2012
  5. Pat

    Pat
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    I don't understand what you mean by the fake ones. Don't misconstrue someone you don't like with someone that's fake, it's kind of confusing. If you're saying they would be fake because they won't accept you if you're gay, that's easy. Tell them you're gay. They'll go away. lol. If you're just speculating right now, then how do you even know who your real friends are going to be? It's not that hard to stop talking to someone you don't like. Identify with why you don't want to be his friend, if it's a legitimate cause and you don't necessarily want to tell him you're gay, just stop being fake with HIM and tell him to leave you alone. "I would prefer to not be friends with you" Something! I can't really imagine a situation where I don't want to be friends with someone who's interested in being friends with me unless he has huge character flaws. Then it's easy to tell him why I don't like him. If you don't have a real reason to not like him, then yeah.. you're not being very nice yourself so you shouldn't even care how it comes off when you tell him to get lost.
     
  6. I guess what I tried to say came out wrong. The reason I don't like them because they're being fake. But as for your advice, thank you, now that I think about it, it's not hard, I'm just not sure what to say.
     
    #6 wonderingdave01, Oct 14, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2012
  7. wandering i

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    Let them know that, for one, your sexuality is not a new thing. You just trust them enough to tell them now, or it is time for you to be open about it (whatever your situation). And that if they have so much of a problem with that that you can't be friends, it's too bad, and wish them good luck. That's it, you don't have to talk to them anymore.

    There is a chance that with your age group, some have never had a friend with a sexuality different than their own, and it may take them some time to compare the mixed ideas they've learned from various sources, with their experiences with you. There is a possibility that they won't know how to deal with this, so if someone reacts poorly initially, but apologizes later and makes gestures of wanting to be friends again, it's up to you whether you want them in your life. But I would keep in mind that there is a lot of misinformation and not everyone who doesn't enthusiastically support of your coming out, is a homophobe.
    It's not your job to teach or be ambassador of your sexuality, but pointing parties who want to learn more in the right direction may help them have a better, more positive understanding than what they had before.
     
  8. Wow, I never thought of this way. O_O