WHY!!! Why do I care? Someone tell me where cuz its the one fundemental flaw in my brain that isruling and ruining my life. I cant stop it, I can't stop myself from thinking what poeple might think of. If I try to talk "oh don't say that he/she will think your stupid, will laugh at you" If I do something "he/she is judging and laugh at you" Ooooooo brain!!! I hate you!!! Let me live my life!!!:bang:
You might just be slightly paranoid... Let it go lol. (ok, it takes time even for me) Progressively care less about what others think...
I know exactly what you mean, I also have this problem of being a people pleaser and being afraid to rock the boat in case you upset people. I think one positive to take from this is that you realise you need to change. That change will come in time, one day you will be able to be who you want to be. You only live once so there is no point spending your whole life trying to please others. Are you currently out to anyone?
People love to make you feel like shit to better themselves on this topic from what I've seen. lol. Everyone cares to an extent. Maybe not about being gay but about careers, friendships, etc. We all care, we HAVE to care. It keeps us sharp and on our toes. I think with this part of yourself, you shouldn't care that much but it does have an impact on things. I think for career reasons mostly with me I would prefer not to tell someone if i'm gay or straight. In this world, people kind of dictate where you can go sometimes, so to me unless it's a direct question, it's not something i'm open to share because it has no professional bearing whatsoever. I want people to hire me because i'm good at what I do, not because of details within my personal life.
Yup, I have this. It does literally eat you up inside until you manage to feel like they like you again, I've had this with parents' of someone who I'm not even that good friends with; it's pretty bad. I can't really give any advice 'cause I'm just as bad atm.
This has nothing to do with being gay. Its just the way my brain is wired and I wish I could un-wire it. If someone asks me direct I'd probably tell them but besides that, I'm not bothered if they know or not. What I mean is - Joining in on conversations Being noticed Not giving a s*** if I screw up by saying the wrong thing But attempts at trying are making me miserable so I just on my own in the cafe and do my own thing which easier than getting involved in social situations. Although it will come down to the point where people won't bother with me cuz of all that. My parents repeately say "its not a big thing, just talk" but they don't understand. It might not seem like this massive problem to them but to me, in my head, it is. I want friends but then I don't cuz of all the effort it takes me personally, to try
Sorry, I always assume that people care what people think about their sexuality. I can still somewhat relate though, if you're talking about social situations. I'm terrible at making friends, really shy and always worried about saying the wrong thing in case people laugh or think I'm weird. And awkward situations seem to follow me around. And I also wonder how everyone else goes through life so laid back, wishing I was one of these people. But I'm sure these people have different insecurities which I wouldn't want.
You are very much like me no joke. I hate it but I love it's a love hate thing for me if you've read some of my other posts Rey mostly refer to appearance which is so stupid and I hate that I am like that, but I am trying to change. But ya i am like you I get embarrassed over everything and I guess I'm slightly parinoide to I can't be in my iPhone when I'm at a restuant or I feel like Someone is watching me and what In saying (ridiculous I know) but I can't help it I wish I cool because trust me i would change It. I spend so much money to look good to have the best of the best Gucci is my biggest weakness and as much as I love the brand I don't know if I wear it for "me" or to show off because I care to much about what people think. I'm seriously trying to change myself for the better and it's hard but I think you can change of you wanted to also
If your social anxiety is severe enough that it is significantly interfering with major life activities, you should consider seeking treatment for it. It can also qualify as a disability, legally, under those circumstances.
I don't think its severe I can say hi to people but that's about it and I avoid social situations like the plague
I'm a people pleaser and I hate it. But I'm getting better and not being one. I just keep telling myself what other people think of me is none of my business but what they do think is a reflection of them and not me.
I have spent my whole life being a people pleaser, and that was the main reason I stayed in the closet for 24 years!!!!! I know it's tough, I have spent hour after hour paranoid that people are talking about me, that people hate me, that I'm not an interesting enough person for someone, that I have nothing decent to add to any conversations! All I can say is, please don't give up! It may take a little effort, it may take a moment of real contemplation about how you want to live your life and how you are living it now! For me personally, I took a step back from myself and looked at who I was. I wasn't the person I wanted to be, I was moulded around everyone else, pleasing them, running around after them, and although I still do care for and try to please everyone else around me. It is not to the detriment of myself. I have looked at how fragile life is, I have looked at how awful some people have been treated, how some people have had to see horrendous things and live through awful conditions and I have thought to myself- I don't have any of these barriers! The only thing holding me back is me!!!! So go for it, find that confident person inside you, and I guarantee you will not regret living for you, and you will be happier knowing that only you have the power to make yourself happy/sad!!!! :eusa_danc
