I wasn't sure whether this belonged in Health or not, but I think it belongs better here. I am on the fence about a few things, and I could really use some advice, which I seem to be needing a lot of lately, but transitioning is fecking terrifying and I just really need the support right now. Testosterone. Up here in my lovely province you don't absolutely need a letter from a shrink to start on T. You can go through a clinic in the city. They put you on a waiting list and it usually takes about a year to get your mitts on the stuff. I'm currently on this waiting list, and will get my T by about next July. The problem is, I'm not sure if I should just go to a gender therapist instead. They see you for a minimum of 3 sessions and determine whether or not you should go on T. My main concern is that I tend to be incapable of sticking to decisions when it comes to things like school. I switch career paths practically once a week. And though 99% of the time I know how I feel, that 1% of the time that the topic comes up with my mom, my decision to transition begins to waver, and I'm not sure if this is from the desire to please my mother, or my own doubts. next topic: anxiety. My anxiety and depression has gotten a lot worse since I told my mom. I don't know if it's my mounting depression of having parts that I detest, or what but at night I need to force myself out of my binder and lie in bed and silently cry because i can feel that curve of my hips that should not be there. In addition whenever I hear someone call me "she" "her" or "heeey girlfriend!" it takes all my strength to not react negatively. The last time things got this bad, my doctor gave me ativan to help me get through the nights. I was wondering if you guys think itd be a good idea to ask for another prescription because it did help, or speak to my general therapist first before I do anything rash. Above all, I'm really scared of getting addicted to something like that. Comments, advice and hugs would be most welcome. Oh, and to top it all off, my best friend since we were infants is moving to Germany and I am more or less devastated.
I think stay off T until you feel like you aren't doing it just to prove a point. I'd only start T if it's what I wanted. I'm happy enough for now to just be me and try to figure out how to come out to everyone. But definitely don't do it just to prove a point. On the anxiety thing, definitely talk to your therapist before you do anything. I find that having a hobby like drawing or writing or something creative can really help with negative emotions. Or even video games. Just something that can distract you. That's my opinion at least. So yeah, I think stay waiting until you start testosterone because it's not like a switch you can just change back. And talk to your therapist about the anxiety. Also, (&&&)(*hug*)(&&&)(*hug*)(&&&)(*hug*)(&&&)(*hug*)
excuse me but what does "trans male" mean? I don't know if its the same testosterone used. But, my Brother had Prostrate cancer and now bone cancer. He can't take testosterone because it is counter productive in his therapy. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned this, but seeing the "Low T" commercials on t-v prompted me to ask about my testosterone and if it was low. He told me to shut the t-v off
I can relate a ton to what you are going through. The anxiety stuff hits really close to home. I know for me, I still get a lot of fears about the decision I'm making, especially when I'm back home with my family. I think that speaking to a gender therapist is a very good idea if you can afford it. I think that hearing a gender specialist give you that confirmation that you are trans, and that you are doing this for the right reason, is going to help alleviate a lot of that fear and anxiety. I'm not really qualified to give advice on what you should be doing as far as medication goes, but if you will be seeing your therapist soon then I think it would make sense to bring this up to them, otherwise I'm sure you physician will be adequately qualified to determine whether the medication would help. I can really empathize with you situation and I wish you the best of luck (*hug*) I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to =) ---------- Post added 15th Oct 2012 at 01:28 AM ---------- A trans male is a term referring to a transsexual individual who had their sex assigned as female at birth, but has a male gender identity. Testosterone would be used to transition from female to male. High levels of testosterone can cause prostate cancer, and in many cases testosterone blockers such as spironolactone are prescribed to males with prostate cancer as treatment. Taking testosterone would definitely be a bad idea in his case My understanding from my doctor is that the average male testosterone level has an extremely high variation. If you genuinely believe that you may have a testosterone deficiency then your doctor can test your hormone levels with some blood tests.
I think if you're questioning whether you should wait, it's probably a good idea. While it's normal to be a bit nervous about starting HRT, being anxious enough to make a post about it says something to me. It's best to trust your gut instinct. That said, if you can afford a gender therapist, why not go to one to talk and not worry about the letter of recommendation for now? You say there's a minimum of three sessions before they can determine whether you're ready to start T, but that doesn't mean you have to start immediately if you're approved. It's your transition, and you should go at a pace that is comfortable for you.
heh.. thats a tough one. I cant really help you much with advice, but you sound like testosterone sounds right for you. Fits your personality. But wait. Give it 6 months or something, to think it through. And oh my i can only imagine how hard it is for you... but i guess what doesnt kill us makes us stronger. And it is way harder for gay people than straight but its worth it.
Generally speaking, the role of therapy in this setting (and the reason that typically extensive therapy has been required prior to authorizing gender reassignment surgery or hormone therapy) is to help the individual fully explore their feelings, understand their situation, and come to a very clear and unambiguous decision whether or not to transition. Since this is, once you're on it for a while, a pretty irreversible step, and since you're exhibiting signs of being uncertain, I strongly encourage you to spend a decent amount of time in therapy -- a few months at least -- to really help you settle in your own mind where you fall on the spectrum and what the best choice is. It would be irresponsible of a clinic or a physician to prescribe hormones for you without first having a pretty lengthy therapy process completed.
The signs of being uncertain is only when my mom speaks to me about it because she really really doesnt want me doing it, and I am pretty sure that primarily my doubts are rooted in my desire to please her. Also, assuming I wait for my turn on the waiting list, I wont be starting T for about 8 months so I have plenty of time and also once the 8 months is up, i wont automatically get my hormones. I need to speak with doctors and stuff first. The reason at this clinic I dont have to meet with a therapist first is because the clinic itself does not believe that being Trans is a mental disorder, therefore they do not require that you have therapy in advance. However if I want any surgeries in the future, I will need to speak to 3 seperate phychologists, sexologists etc and get 3 letters of recommendation before I can go through with that aspect of my transition.
