Well geez, this is the first time i've had one of my late night moods so I figured i'll do what all you other courageous men and women do and share it, open it to feedback. Anxiety. Definition: My anxiety is a mixture of my emotions, it's almost like a wall I have to climb just to get to the bottom of what i'm feeling. Often what I do to get out of this feeling is talk to another person and kind of take the pressure off of what might be bothering me. It works usually. Tonight, it's late and there's no one to do this with soooo.. I was kinda hoping.. I honestly feel like the journey of self discovery has been an uphill battle for me. I ponder on what it's going to take to make me happy, what that might feel like and how I get there. It's the background question of my life. My thinking method is screwed sometimes.. I'll challenge existence, the purpose and the rules that people conform by. Who decides what's etiquette, shit that I can't necessarily find out, which creates a stalemate in my mind. I do believe in fate, I think I have purpose here but I can't definitively figure out what it is or why I am where I am. It makes me finicky and unsettled to think about what my future holds. Question is.. Do I just need to take my ass to sleep on time, or do you guys feel this and how do you cope? I used to get this lump in my throat and stiff feeling in my chest days before I came out to my mom, it was unbearable so I had to see if that helped, it did. Now I have something else building up but I don't know what it is exactly because i'm having the time of life, well.. meaning i'm very much into my present. I just keep wondering about when the prime comes and how distant that is.
I learned for one, that nothing is worth worrying about. Accepting who you are is more than just telling people about it, its LOVING who you are that's worth the effort. If you want to talk, hit me up, I've got plenty to say and am more than willing to have a listen, what's on your mind?
(*hug*) hey. I think like that all the time it makes my head hurt sometimes. Maybe you don't know what's going to happen because you're not suppose to. Sometimes you've just gotta let things happen. You'll know if they're right or not. Its okay to challenge things. Being a free thinker is in my eyes one of the best things a person can be. It does make you scared of the unknown sometimes but just remember that one day the unknown will become known.
Very true. I just think it's something I'm not supposed to know right now. I'm a firm believer that it will come to me when it's the appropriate time. And will do Ryan.
