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Help me please...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by channel48, Oct 14, 2012.

  1. channel48

    Regular Member

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    Backstory time I moved from North Carolina to California with my mom and sister a little over a year ago. We moved because my parents had been divorced for 3 years and my mom was in love with another man here. My mom and the other man had know each other for 8 years before we moved and had always had feelings for each other, but my mom remained loyal to my dad. Then they got divorced. Anyway since we moved my real dad who I call Chris has had very little contact with me. He has my email and my phone number. He has emailed me a total of 10 times over a year and each one was about 2 lines long, well except for the recent one. He has called once. He was never really a good dad, but my mom covered for him because she thought it was what was best. I used to be a daddy's girl and crave his attention. I've given up on that now. I sent him an email and told him how he hurt me and I told him that I didn't want to talk to him at the moment and that I will contact him when I am ready. He responded by saying that he wasn't going to sit around and what for me to contact him. This tols e that he didn't care about me. He also said that it was my fault that he couldn't talk to my sister because i didn't answer the phone when he called after i told him i sidn't want to talk to him. He doesn't know that i like girls and he's also homophobic. Last night i had a dream and in it he told me he didn't love me and that i wasn't him daughter. It really shook me. Please i just want any advice you have about anything. Sorry it's so long :help: :tears:
     
  2. Ianthe

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    Why are you solely responisible for answering the phone? Is your sister so young she can't answer the phone?

    I'm not sure how to advise you because I don't know how old you are, or if you are out to your mother, or what you think might happen if you were to come out. But there will likely always be distance between you and your dad as long as you aren't out to him. That doesn't necessarily mean you should come out to him though, since there could be other consequences.
     
  3. Jim1454

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    Remember that divorce is hard on everyone - including the parents getting divorced.

    Your dad wasn't ever the greatest dad, and now that youv'e moved completely across the country it's even harder for him to be a part of your life. He was likely very hurt and upset when your mom decided to move to California and it's difficult to maintain a relationship when you're that far away. And when you're not even sure your daughters want to talk to you, he might not have felt incented to call. I'm not sure.

    Try not to hold grudges. If you'd like to talk to your dad once in a while, then call him. If you'd like him to write more often, then tell him. If you'd like to have him call you more often, then tell him.