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Now what?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mike7, Oct 15, 2012.

  1. Mike7

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    South Africa
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm new to this, it's my very first post on any site, ever.
    I came out two weeks ago today. I told my parents first and they were really supporting and accepting (thank God) then I told my three best friends and every day I just get more comfortable with myself and around others.
    No one else knows and I'm writing final exams in a week, then I'm done with school, so what's the need to tell everyone at school? I'm moving to a different city next year for university and then I can be open to people I meet, I know, why not tell people from my school now since I will tell people next year anyway? Because I think in high school people can be really judging and homophobic. so yeah the thing is, I want to start giving dating a try, but how? how do you meet someone (and know they are gay)?
     
  2. Ticklish Fish

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    Does the uni have LGBT group?... (duh)

    And the only way you know is probably talk to them... unless they're facebook official or something.

    Good luck on finals!
     
  3. NordicSpirit

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    Welcome to EC :grin:
    And congrats on your coming out so far!
    It's up to you whether you come out to people in your school. Like you say you will be leaving soon, but I assume you will be going home for visits, holidays etc so it would be nice for you to be out to people from your hometown. Just be careful that you don't do anything that will jeopardise your exam performance.
    As for meeting guys, if you are over 18 you could try Internet dating, which is fun. If not, try joing an lgbt youth/sport/reading etc group to meet new people.
     
  4. SkyColours38

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    Hi, I'm pretty new to this too - I only told people I was bi in August, just little by little, and as of last month my parents know too. I really want my year in school to know, but I think girls can be more accepting than guys when it comes to sexuality (and I'm at a school for girls), so I can't really tell you what to do there. I just don't know how to tell them, anyway!
    But I think it doesn't matter if you decide not to tell people until next year - I think it can be easier to start afresh than to try and change old perceptions. I'm going to university next year too, and I want to come out right at the start so nobody has any false ideas about me.
    As for dating, are there any guys at school who you find attractive and think might be gay? If not, I'm pretty sure there are gay dating websites, but if you're not 18 yet then that could be a problem. It could also be dangerous, like any online dating website... I'd say gay bars or clubs, but I have no idea about the age laws in wherever you live, so that might not work either. Sorry, I'm not very helpful, am I? It can be really difficult liking someone and not knowing if they'd freak out, be flattered or like you back if they found out, so maybe just wait until everything is out in the open completely before you properly try dating? Good luck and enjoy your new-found outness! The only bad reaction I had was actually from parents, so generally people are fine with it. :icon_bigg:thumbsup:
     
  5. Mike7

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Thanks alot for the advice, im actually from a small coast town in south africa, and going to a city to study next year, whether there is a LGBT group- i dont know, in south africa there isn't really a lot of groups in schools and like that, soooo its hard. BUT however, there is hope! I'm 18 and there are gay clubs/bars almost everywhere, so i'll give that a try. I also started a blog on EC, give it a read if you feel like :grin:, I'll update it as often as possible and again, thanks for the support!
     
  6. lemonlime

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    I had a lot of friends in high school who didn't come out then. We've since found out about a lot of people who just went to university and were out. It means there's no process so much.

    I like to sound people out by talking about the news, pride parades, or anything to see if they're homophobic. If they respond well then you can casually mention some guy you'd like to date or some celebrity you think is hot. If you want to be out generally the word will spread.

    If you're worried and you don't want everyone to know then LGBT groups for sure. Some will be online. If you can't find one on campus you could consider starting one online for your school. Online will let people be anonymous so you might find more people willing to join.