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school lunch

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by HatterMad, Oct 16, 2012.

  1. HatterMad

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    School food is free fro me.
    I'm suppose to eat breakfast and lunch there.

    They say only losers eat breakfast at school, so most the kids who need it do not get it. I skip it because 2 of the guys who seem to have problems with me...1 of them is the 1 who made the comment about my uncle (I posted it as anon in Post Secret).

    And then I have sooooo many friends who make eating lunch with them a grate experience.....I skip lunch to.

    I'm getting hungry.

    There isn't any like any shoving or name calling. it's jest me. Even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to eat there, it's the worst time at school where everyone has someone to be with.

    I ...don't even no why I'm posting this. I feel like i shuldn't care. I should jest eat my lunch and go rite?
     
  2. Amicus

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    It's terrible that people are making life difficult for you at school (*hug*)

    But yes, you really do need to eat! No good can come from skipping two meals per day. Why is it a "loser" thing to eat breakfast at school? What specifically would be the consequences?

    I'm guessing that you know how important it is to eat enough every day, so I won't browbeat you with any of that. I understand that these social circumstances make it very difficult for you to eat your meals at school, but avoiding the problem like this is unhealthy psychologically as well as physically. Is there anyone in your family you can talk to about this?
     
  3. BradThePug

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    Have you talked to the school administrators about this?? They might be able to help you if you talk to them about the problem.
     
  4. lemonlime

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    Hate to say it but school administrators are completely useless with this kind of stuff. Unless someone walks up to you and issues an obvious slur or physically assaults you they do nothing. It's hard to describe being ostracized or otherwise treated poorly in a way that people who haven't been there can understand. Even if they did understand they can't act on something so vague.

    Anyway, if I were you I'd scarf the food and high-tail it outta there. Food is pretty important. Maybe make lunch dates with your friends so they come too or take a book so that eating alone looks intentional and people are more likely to leave you alone.
     
  5. Pat

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    Dude, the way to get respect in school is honestly, not to give a damn lol. I mean, there's no way someone can say that's "not cool" or whatever. That's what I did in HS. I did wtf I wanted to do and then some people I knew thought it was cool. When I was able to drive, I didn't eat lunch in school because I didn't want to, I would actually hang with a class mate and skip for lunch, sometimes our teacher wanted us to bring her something back lol. You just have to act totally oblivious to people and you'll be ok. If people think you're crazy, they don't screw with you. You have to stop caring about the whole, "I want to feel popular" stuff. Honestly, it sounds like you're NEVER going to fit in with those group of people, I know why you would want to, it's not about them but maybe just fitting in period. You have to get over that because as bad as you want it, they know it, and they'll take every chance to exploit it. Become your own leader. At 13, you're getting ready to be your own person in HS. Those kids that mean something right now are just going to be like you, fishes in the sea. They have no say whatsoever in HS what would be deemed "cool". I dunno what kids are doing these days, but I ate my damn food, that's for sure lol. I didn't care if it was free or any of that stuff. Eat lunch outside when you get to HS. You'll have a chance to become who you want to be there.
     
    #5 Pat, Oct 16, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2012
  6. Honestly, take a good book and enjoy a meal in peace. There's nothing more relaxing than not caring about how something you do looks to other people. You'll learn that lesson before college, one way or another. Is it not possible for friends to eat their lunch with you? You might be surprised if you ask some friends to come along.
     
  7. BradThePug

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    It's still good to let them know. When I was in school, I had it set up so that I could eat lunch in a different place.
     
  8. Pat

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    Not addressing the overall issue. It's alienating it. Granted, I've never been bullied but I can say that I've felt conspired against or felt like I wasn't worthy of a clique or whatever. In the real world, you have to deal with all types of people and you can't always go eat in another place, figuratively speaking. You belong just like they do. Mark my words, in your lives people will Target you to see how you respond. Look at them eye to eye and don't flinch. You don't have the confidence now but fake it till you make it.
     
  9. In my school, our breakfast club took place at the far end of the school, in a quiet room near the courtyard. It's honestly worth taking the alone time to just sit and enjoy yourself, take a book, or homework, and don't make the meal about being alone. Make it about doing something while you eat. Its never worth skipping meals! :slight_smile:
     
  10. Ticklish Fish

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    Do not give a fuck!
    Only give fuck to your stomach!
     
  11. HatterMad

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    Oh wow. Talk about overwhelming dyslexia. So happy you all have short answers tho....I'm going to try do this....

    Because i'm tired of being lonely now and it's really getting to me.

    First I"ll remind you reading, spelling, and typing aren't my strong points, I have a reader and a spelling program, but sometimes they hate me a lot for mangling words, or trick me into choosing one that isn't' rite, so if anything I say is messed up, let me know and I can try to fix it....

    OK I did this with copy and paste so sorry I can't call you all out by name...

    --------------------------

    I'd guess the loser thing comes from kids with money have food at home to eat, kids without money eat at school. At lunch no one can tell the difference, its all checked out the same with your student number, but breakfast at school isn't required.

    I should say I have been worse off and hungrier, at least I have food here at home, so thats ok. I'm not sure talking to my grandparents would help anything. My grandma would feel bad, but ...... oh god, she'll probably blame it on being gay too.. haha And my grandpa mite make a huge thing out of it, or not care. I never know. And I don't really want him to go to the school and yell at office people who have no idea what's going on.


    ...but what's my problem exactly? Becsue they'll ask. N one is being mean or hurting me..it's just that..Everyone has a somewhere they sit where they fit in and....then theres me. I just take the fruit, dump the lunch and leave. If th ey'd let us eat somewhere else it would be easier. I've gotten yelled at for taking fruit out of the lunch room though and made to throw it away.

    Feeling weird or left out...isn't really anything they'll help me...and...with the other stuff too, I don't really want to sit there with an adult and actually have to say some of the stuff that may come out...like....

    See my post about the jerkoff here to see just why many of these kids aer weird to me

    Yes, it's like that.

    I don' t have friends...and when the gay special ed kid who couldn't read last year has a book....that's going to open a whole new can of "Pick on Jen".


    I'm sure part of it is that like Filipe said to me before, it needs time...for the kids to find out I' not like how I was...and like if I actually knew who I was and liked myself that mite be better, huh?

    I don' t want to be popular. I'll take one good friend, maybe even two. I've been here since the start of summer and there's not one single person my age I talk to. This si the second month of school. I wake up and check the board, get dressed and walk to school. After school I usually get help with my homework, then I walk home. I mess around here on the computer, eat dinner and then...nothing. There isn't anything to do. I'm trying to read a book. I can't sleep very well, so most nights I just watch Netflix or just sit there. and then the next morning I do it again.

    I did learn how to ride a bike tho. and last weekend I went for a long bike ride. that was better then just sitting here.

    Isn't my life exiting?

    I feel like a freak. Like how can it be that not ONE kid in that school will wave, or talk to me, or even LOOK at me? Many of them don't even no me, jsut the rumors.

    hm.

    Maybe I should talk to the counselor about it?
    I mean it's not so much that anyone is doing anything wrong and needs to be in trouble it''s more about me and what I'm not comfortable with.

    I kind of wish I could do that, but...given my history if I look at the wrong guy I think I'll end up regretting that. Listening to some of the stuff going around today makes me think that a lot of the guys I new before are worried I"m going to out them. (It's in my ohter post)

    Which is not at all what I want to do.
    I actuallly wanted to come back here. My grandparetns are the only family I have, and...I like this town and I did like a lot of the kids, but...when they turned into teenagers they really changed. And...I've changed too.

    Ours is in the lunch room, rite in the middle of the school. I don't have homework to do either, they make me do that before I go home....I wonder if I could figure out something else to do....and if I should talk to the counselor at school, see what she says?

    I dunt think I'll eat breakfast. if I had my way I"d never again breath the same air as that guy, but I have to at least have lunch.



    Jest.. thank you for helping me try to figure this out...i want to get on with things...I thuoght it wouldn't bother me to not have friends for awhile...but...

    ...it bothers me...

    a lot

    ---------- Post added 16th Oct 2012 at 06:53 PM ----------

    (wondering if my reading teacher would take that post for an essay.. haha ...longest anything I've ever written.)

    ---------- Post added 16th Oct 2012 at 06:54 PM ----------

    That's what i thought I could do.
    I had no idea how much it would bother.

    Ever been depressed, sleepless, and alone? Times that by 5 months....
     
  12. Ticklish Fish

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    sort of, yes, sort of. though not that bad like you *hug*

    for sleeplessness, try dumping all your worries and just focus on sleep. sleep is good. and i know it's hard when you're worry.

    I am thinking your depressed mood and alone is related, for now just don't give a damn about popularity. Teenage years is part of the time that people want to belong... so basically everyone stumps. there are those who want to find themselves by joining groups, and those who stands out for some reason.... It's always easier to please yourself mostly before others (who might be unpredictable)
     
  13. HatterMad

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    Well before I can sleep I have to get out of the room I"m in.

    I think I will talk to my grandma about changing room.s
     
  14. You're not a freak my friend. A need to be social is as normal as it gets. You're not alone here, EC and its members are happy to do anything in our power to keep you company. Sleepless is a problem we all face today. I read that it has a lot to do with our exposure to light, and the apparent need to sleep in solid blocks through the entire night. Consider napping for a while after school, staying up a bit later, and going to bed when you're tired. Incorporate physical exercise into your day, every day. you can't sleep if you're not tired. I bet with a good diet and a little exercise, you could sleep like a log in no time.
     
  15. Ticklish Fish

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    or cell phone or computer screens or tv, which has light. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  16. HatterMad

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    I've fallen asleep IN school a few times now. haha

    and yeh i do come home and lay down on the couch and sleep some.

    i could start bike riding every day. It's something to do.

    But really the biggest thing is I need out the room I'm in. I can't ever sleep there. It's a bad room.


    and if I dind't ever find this place...I would be so crazy by now. Thanks.
     
  17. HatterMad

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    It's me. Again.

    That guy said sh.t at school again.


    This is pretty much what he said, again
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/1186128-post4405.html


    And again, in a hallway full of students.
    I dind't have a chance to see the counselor today, so I'll go tomorrow and talk to her about lunch, and...I guess I"ll talk to her about this guy too...but...I'm not stupid, if it's not him saying it sumone else will.

    The worst part isn't so much that, but that almost everyone who hears it thinks it's pretty f..king funny.
     
  18. Ticklish Fish

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    *hug* I don't know what to say. If you were in my school (and my lunch, because screw lunch A B and C), I would stand up for you :slight_smile:

    Though I have to ask, how do you feel? What would you say if you had stand up for yourself?
     
  19. I'd stand up for you for that too, and I've never been the type to stand up to bullies. I was lucky enough that in highschool, I developed my sense of humour, and just started ignoring the idiots who had always bullied me. They quickly found someone else to bother with. In your case, that's one of the most awful things I've ever heard a bully say. Take heart and find courage, I hope your councillor can give you the space you need.

    For a little consideration: The important thing to remember about bullies is that they thrive on the your pain, and usually have terrible lives that they hide from. I can personally attest, of the guys who picked on me most ruthlessly (long before a gay thought had ever entered my mind) at least half of them are now out of the closet. For how cruel what he says is, I wouldn't be surprised if that's classic deflection, and he has a few deep dark secrets he's hiding from. I'm not saying he deserves pity, just consider that where you are being an adult and trying to find a peaceful way to deal with problems you can't handle alone, he's being a child and trying to heap his problems on someone else.

    You face enormous struggles and manage to come off as a smart young man with plenty of accomplishments to be proud of. Keep being you, keep looking for strength, and keep asking the school for help. I hope they appreciate you and your needs.
     
  20. maybaygay

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    If anyone calls you a loser when you do eat there just ask them what mommy made them for breakfast, and if she cut the crust off just how her lil boo boo likes it...
     
    #20 maybaygay, Oct 17, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2012