Okay, so about a year ago my parents found out I was gay and dating my best friend. They forbade me from ever seeing her again (outside of school). If I tried they'd threaten to call the police, not pay for my university, etc. So I listened to them. I didn't see her. Now I'm in university on their funding and they found out I had been seeing her since they opened my bank statement and looked up everywhere I had been. I'm pretty sure this is illegal, but my dad's a lawyer and I'm afraid to do anything. So last night they skyped me and told me I had to give them all the money in my bank so I couldn't spend it going to see my girlfriend. They would refuse to pay the rest of my tuition if I didn't. I caved and did it. I don't know what to do anymore, my girlfriend told me I had to choose between her or them. I don't know. I don't want to lose my education. Now I have no money left in the bank, I can't afford an upcoming installment. Help? Anyone?
hey, sorry to hear about this. I'm not from Canada and don't know how the schooling works up there. But I know here, you can just go to the financial aid office and explain the situation and they will most likely give you financing. They'll pretty much give it to anyone. The thing here is that the parents have to use their income to kind of weed out the offers first until you hit the age of 23. After 23, you can use your own income to receive financing aid, at which time you're likely going to see grants instead of loans. Again, not sure how it works there. I would look into scholarships on your school's website or grants to see if you qualify for any. I can understand your GF being frustrated with you right now, but if she's asking you to choose knowing what you're going through, then it might not be a bad idea for you guys to go back to being friends. It's not like you have a lot of say. If school is important to you, you have to do everything you can to preserve the opportunity to attend one. And if a guy ever asks me to choose him over my career, well.. I'm so sorry boy, you're shit out of a luck. haha.
I echo Pat's suggestion. But I'd start at the counseling center, or college ombudsman's office (or whatever it's called there... basically the office that helps you figure out bureaucracy and get the right people to help) and explain exactly what's going on. Your girlfriend isn't helping matters either. It's really selfish (and impractical) for her to just say "choose." I'd say that your education is first and foremost, and if your parents are really going to be dickish, play their game long enough to get the money you need, and then see if the college can provide other resources for you to get through. One of my friends was dirt poor when he started school in Toronto and, with zero help from his parents, and two part-time jobs, got a master's degree. So it's definitely possible, but not as easy as if your parents just pay for it. They will eventually come around, but for now, if you want their money, you probably have to play by their rules. They're pieces of shit for doing this, but that's who they are at the moment and there isn't much you can do about it.
Thanks for the advice you guys. I'll be looking into some counseling as soon as I have the time. For the time being I'm just going to have to play to both sides a little. Follow my parents rules for an education and try and reconcile what's left with my girlfriend. Sucks that some people are just shit. Here's hoping it gets better.
Doesn't seem like your girlfriend is being much help, in fact it sounds like she's being downright selfish. In fairness, you should be focused on your education. Unfortunately, it's not always as clean a road as you would like. She should appreciate how much you've already risked, and now lost for her. If she can't support you while you do what you have to for the sake of improving your life, then I don't think she appreciates you at all.
This happens in straight relationships too, contrary to popular belief. Some parents send their kids to school for the education and don't want them to begin this journey of staying out late and partying, spending frivolously, especially if it involves a mate. It's kind of like, I'm giving you MY money and you're spending it on someone else. Make it goal on your calendar to be independent by _____ (this date) And go from there. The GF thing, try to balance it if you can, but if someone has to go.. guess what? You kinda have to ask yourself, in 15 years.. what percentage do I have of either.. A) Not needing a degree B) Being with this person. Don't go down the path some of my friends have done and choose the ladder, it almost never works out. The same shit she's complaining about now will come up later and she'll be saying, "i'm tired of supporting you" Lol.. you don't want to hear that one day so be wise and keep her if you can but if you can't, focus on school for a while.
