So I've done some silly things and I'm in a situation. I know it's long. Please bear with me. I'm bi and closeted. I've come out to many of my close friends. I'm in a gay club that lets anyone join and they all think I'm straight except one friend who I've told. I feel least comfortable about coming out to these people. I feel like the bi-phobia is pretty strong with some of them and I'm worried that they'll think I'm somehow just trying it on or something. Also they know my parents. Anyway, I've been on a dating site for quite a while. Early this year I took the step of saying online that I'm interested in both men and women. I did start dating a nice guy who's also bi and mostly closeted and who also hasn't dated anyone of the same sex (so he totally gets it). I'm still on the dating site but my profile says I'm not really looking to date at the moment. Because I'm so self-conscious about it, I decided not to tell anyone at the club about my boyfriend. I figured that them not knowing I was dating a guy would ease the coming out if/when it happens eventually. Anyway, this girl from the club I'm in got in touch with me over the site. She saw that it says I'm not really interested in dating at the moment but she figured she would ask anyway. So what do I do now? Do I have to tell her I'm dating someone? Do I ask her not to out me to other club members? Do I tell her I'm willing to hang out as friends? I'm so confused and I don't want to mess things up.
Be honest with her. Let her know that you are seeing someone else at the moment and that you are pretty much trying to not be with someone else while seeing this person. You don't have to tell her specifically who, but being 100% honest is better than nothing. If you would like to be friends with her you can always tell her that. I hope this helps and good luck
First off, I would like to say... Have you seen some of these posts here? lol.. Your length is lovely haha You seem really concerned about the court of public opinion. We were talking the other day about how being bisexual means you're just screwed however way you do it. lol. I think you should open it up to discussion, don't make them feel like they can't question you, respectfully. Just say something along the lines of, "guys, i joined the group to solidify feelings that i've already had and I'm bisexual" They should be able to understand that. Some won't. That's ok! Don't look at it as if it's a negative turning point for you. If you get the support you want and you're not open to telling your parents, they should understand that you would like to be the one to tell them at a time appropriate for you. Good luck!
