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Advice Needed

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by AbstractShadows, Oct 16, 2012.

  1. AbstractShadows

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    American Fork UT
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Im new to this site and im seeking advice.

    I came out to most of my family about 8 months ago and have been out to friends for about 2 years. I have never had a boyfriend or anything like that and lately, its starting to really get to me. My first problem is that im very scared to step out and look (mostly because I live in utah and there is not alot of gays here) My second problem is that im not good looking (im a little on the heaver side but not too much) My third problem is im afraid of being hurt and my last problem is that im looking for someone to take care of me, not the other way around. I have had a horrible childhood and I was always taking care of everyone. All I want is someone to hold me at night and love me for who and what I am. I've never been on a date with anyone.

    I have tried looking, dont get me wrong, but when I tried last, I got shot down by a guy who I never talked to on the phone. We just emailed and blew off 3 dates that I set up. When I was blown off, I wanted to give up on trying.

    Can anyone give me some advice on what to do? Or at least where to find someone to go on a date with? I need some confidence and I dont have it in myself anymore to keep trying and being shot down.
     
  2. queenofhearts

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Chi-town
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    alright first i must say ive never been in a relationship either..however i have been on a few dates and talked to a lot of girls on dating sites and what not so i know enough. You could try online dating..which doesnt always have positive results..and sometimes it sucks..but u cant give up after just one person ...theres many more out there u gotta play the field a bit..secondly...regardless of what relationship ur in u both have to give and recieve...as in ur not gonna get someone who just takes care of u and the focus is on u...relationships take work on both parts...also..maybe u could go to a few gay bars?...i know thats difficult cuz i have a hard time even finding people to go with...i would also look for a lgbt group or club near u...then maybe u could find friends in the community to hang out with and meet their gay friends as well...the more people u know the better..and then maybe u can have friends to go to the bars with and such...hope this helps like i said im not the most experienced person ever but ive been on a hand ful of dates..i just have a hard time continuing them haha
     
  3. AbstractShadows

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2012
    Messages:
    8
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    Location:
    American Fork UT
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    It does. Thank you :slight_smile: I have also tried online dating and that was the one that blew me off each time but I havent given up. I dont want to give up. Im just scared to try anymore.

    Your right, it has to work both ways. I guess im just stubborn and I want it all but thats not ok. Everyone deserves 50/50.

    As for going to the gay bar, im only 20 so thats kind of out for now. However, I do like the idea!

    Thanks for your support ^_^ It makes me feel a little bit better that there are good people out there that can give good advice.