Ever since i came out to my brother he has been nothing but helpful and supportive. On the odd occation he did kind of give me a nudge to come out a little bit more but he appologized for those times and he never did it unless he was 100% sure the person would be kind supportive and most importantly discrete. Now however i am ready to come out completely, but unfortunitally i am not so much worried about how my friends will take it but how his friends will take it. Almost all of his friends are Mormon. For those who don't know mormons are extremly religous and most are very anti gay and those who arn't prech that they remain abstanite. Every day i sit with them on an hour bus ride so we are kind of friends but i wouldn't mind them abandoning me. Unfortunitally even though i could just tell them to buzz off they would try to influence my brother to get me try to change. He told me that he will not hold up my coming out and said that he will defend me if any of his friends say anything bad about me, but i still don't know if i should come out if it could lead to his own isolation because i know how that feels and he actually became very deppressed last year because he had lost a lot of his old friends and i don't want to put him though it again. I am becoming more and more misserable living trapped in the closet but i just don't think i can come out if it would risk my brothers friendships.
I think you should do whatever you feel is best. But I'm glad your brother's really supportive of who you are. My brother's one of the religious people that treat me like a freak. I think that it's very selfless of your brother, and if you feel the need to come out, you should. Because if your brother's behind you 100%, then he probably wouldn't mind. Most high school friendships don't last anyway, and if they are gonna last, they gotta be hella strong; so yeah [: I actually left my school this year because I wanted my brother to have a good senior year. Apparently when I'm there, the way I'm more effeminate than masculine gets problems for him with stupid people. But I don't know how it feels to have a supportive brother; my brother blames me for choosing this and being "stupid" enough to come out. Because he thinks it affects his life more than mine. And I really really reaaaally doubt that. And in a school that's religious, if it's anything like my old school, you won't have many problems with discrimination. The people who disagree with it [students] will just stray from you. I'm not sure about the teachers, though; I got crap from them... Continuing, I think if you're miserable being in the closet, then let yourself out. Not like, shout it from the rooftops, but, you know, subtly [:
Yeah I know what you mean one of my closest friend I have and hang out with all the time is mormon. When I finally fully come out nothing had changed between us. We still crack our jokes and have a good time. Just thought I should add that in here.
Sounds like you have the male version of my sister. To Geist, your brother sounds incredibly supportive, and if you are planning on coming out, I suggest you tell him about your fears with his friends and the things you have said to us. Make sure he knows that you appreciate his selflessness concerning his friends. Then at least if anything does go wrong concerning his friends, he'll know that he made the right choice choosing you over his friends. In whatever you decide to do, good luck
Also talking from personal experience here, when I came out to one of my best friends who is also a Mormon, I found her to be incredibly supportive. She was almost giddy after finding out, actually. It was like "our little secret." Granted, some or most Mormons may not be like this, but you may be pleasantly surprised. But don't let your brothers' friends stop you from coming out. You're not his slave or a second-class citizen, you know? Don't sacrifice your happiness for his. If his friends go against you, that's their decision, not his, not yours.
Here's my experience with the mormons and other extreme religious people I know - their bark is MUCH worse than their bite. These kids might think you're awesome if you come out, but you don't know until you do.
Everyone has their cross to bear... and your brother has a brother that is gay. That actually isn't such a bad thing, really. And if his friends give HIM a hard time because his brother (you) is gay, then they aren't really good friends, are they? While of course it would be rough at first, he's likely better off without them. And you shouldn't live your life a certain way for someone else - even if that someone else is a really great and supportive brother. You need to be true to you first and foremost. Good luck.
