accepting yourself

ive been so confused lately, on everything from religion to sexuality. ive dated boys and girls, i am currently with a great guy hes everything a girl would want in a relationship but honestly i feel nothing there. there isnt one emotional attachment. i care of course but it just doesnt feel right. it feels like a lie to myself and to him. ive dated girls before but its never really worked out for whatever reasons. i like girls. i dont know why im having a hard time accepting this but it feels like im not in my right skin just wearing something nice if that makes sense. im not happy with how i feel emotionally, not depressed but just empty, vaccant. i wish i was able to be happy witht his guy but it just doesnt feel right. im just so confused on what to do. i think im so reluctant to accept to myself that i like girls because its always been a dissapointment for me. ive always got the raw end of the deal and screwed over, with guys it really doesnt happen. i cant really talk to my friends either, their not supportive of gay and lesbians, at least not with one of their friends, my familys the same way. how is someone suppose to figure themsevles out with these kinds of things around?

 

this is my first post! haha, i just though this would be a great place to just open up and start coming to terms with my feelings and thoughts, get feed back. anything helps though its good to see someones reading!

 

you know its hard then! hes a great guy and ive met his family and all that, i think the relationship does have to end but hes become a bestfriend too and loves me. i dont want to hurt anyone thats the last thing i want to do. i hate having inner conflict with myself. i think that if i just go with the flow of things everything will work out as it should in the end but im starting to doubt that. i need to make a move on things in any direction other then where im at now. i think im going to try to talk to some of my more understand friends maybe sorta come out or atleast tell them how i feel, maybe itll clear some confusion up. ive posted several blogs just venting about all this and what not lol feel free to look!

 

hahah i do too!

 

ill look maybe i have it set to private or something but i looked at yours and i totally feel the same way i have hardly any experiece with girls, everything i ever started with one ended so fast ya know? it helps just knowing someones in the same boat as me. it really does.

 

i know how you feel, i have been through it all with guys and girls. ive just never been open about being with girls and i think it was a problem for the girls i was with, i was open about being with one girl, she was the first girl i ever dated and it was a mess, shes a mess. im not really experienced either and i think its a factor too. i dont want hook ups i want the real deal with someone that it feels right with

 

that does make sense!

 

i think so too haha. we sound so similar!!

 

haha me too!!

 

okay night!