I just got disowned

I'd just turn my phone off.

 

Give your mom some time let off steam. She seems to bottle up a lot of self-hate she projects onto you because it makes her feel better about herself. Give her some time and see if she truly meant what she said. However, if you really were disowned and I'm reading what you said incorrectly, then sorry, I don't have much advice. I'm not even at an age where I can work.

I'm curious though, do you love your mom? Relationship by blood is absolute crap, and if you cannot justify why you would want to love her, then do not love her. You do not have to care for her. You do not even have to recognize her existence in your life except as your mother, biologically. Personally, I wouldn't love someone like that.

Chin up and make smart decisions is really all I can say. If you got disowned, then that's that, right? Can't change the past; can't change people. Chin up, move forward, and don't screw your future up. Try to find a steady flow of income to help pay off college and living expenses and try to finish college as well. After that, I suppose try to find a higher-paying job? The line of advice there from me is fuzzy. I have no idea what really will happen, sorry.

Feel better though!

 

*hugs tight* I am so sorry D=

 

Sorry to hear about your mom behaving that way. She sounds a bit like my mother was 10 years ago. How is your relationship with your father? Have you tried talking to him about all this? Why is your mom hiding money away? It sounds like she has some issues and I'm sorry she's putting them off on you. How parents could treat their children like that is beyond me.

 

*Hugs* I'm sorry to hear that D:

 

I am so sorry to hear you are going through something this incredibly traumatic right now.(*hug*)

I am happy that your financial situation would be cared for, as a small comfort I am sure that is.

Is there anyone you can talk to in person around where you are? Do you have any friends that you could go hangout with?

Remember NO MATTER WHAT you are very important, and we all here at the EC will be here to listen and help when and how we can.

You are strong, just sayin'

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. Your parents sound like mine on steroids.

As mentioned above... How is your social life at college? Do you have any close friends to talk to? It would be really good for you if you did. Do you see a therapist or psychologist for your depression? Believe me, you don't want to let that go untreated and medication alone is not enough. Many schools have counseling centers and I would encourage you to take advantage of that if you are not already seeing somebody.

Unfortunately, you might just have to write your mom off for now. My parents have never been emotionally supportive either. Always financially, but never emotionally. Some people are just numb to such things. Just be thankful to have a fall back plan as far as finances go. I feel trapped in the closet because if I came out and got disowned, I'd be homeless and unemployed right now.

Also, read your own sig I found it to be personally encouraging.

 

Please please please be aware of the people you are friends with. You can have people who you get along with, but you can also have people you emotionally click with, you enjoy/want to be around, can depend on, and emotionally feed you (without being clingy). There is such a big difference between the two.

 

I am soo sorry that you are having a horrible day. Just know that life does get better. You can do this. We are all behind you!!!

 

As someone else mentioned, it clearly looks like your mother is projecting alot of her anger onto you and clearly that is messed up [to put it nicely.] I'd definitely avoid talking to her for awhile, at most maybe messaging as bluntly as possible how she hasn't been emotionally supportive while you have, and if she's just gonna continue berating you that you are cutting her off, because you have more important things to deal with. Or something to that effect.

I'm truly sorry you're feeling so badly right now. It never ceases to amaze me how cruel parents can be to their children. I only hope that your therapist continues to help, that you can start making some close friends and that overall you can get out of her shadow and away from her influence.

^ Also this. It's definitely important to realize the difference. While there's nothing wrong with 'casual friends', but they tend to come and go. They usually aren't the ones you'll be comfortable confiding in or relying on for support.

 

Whatever you do, DO NOT WALL YOURSELF OFF! That's what I did and it quite literally drove me to the point of insanity. I know it's hard, but try to put yourself out there. I'm sure UCLA has all kinds of clubs to join. Take advantage of everything college life has to offer. Keep working on making friends. You're going to need them, given your family situation. From what little I know about you, you seem like an intelligent and interesting young man. I'm can't think of a single reason for any halfway intelligent/tolerant person to not want to be your friend.

Regardless of what the psychiatric community tells you, medications will never be the answer to everything. And for the love of god, DON'T SELF MEDICATE!!! Been down that road too, doesn't end in a good place... It takes a lot more work than swallowing a pill to be genuinely happy. You are, however, making a good decision going to your psychologist tomorrow. Find a good one that will actually talk with you. My Dr. has helped me tremendously. Keep your lines of communication open. You are not alone in all this.

 

*hugX1000000* I'm so sorry this happened to you.

 

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I wish I had I had something more helpful to say.

 

I agree with Chip. She's being completely inappropriate, and I think that she's quite possibly not well, and she may well have serious mental issues.

I am so sorry that this has happened. That was a terrible way for her to behave towards you. And she's worse than no help. Basically, if she were to be a suicide counselor, everybody would be jumping off the bridge.

 

so very sorry that this has happened to you. My mom and dad who I took care of during their last years appreciated me. So, can't imagine what it must feel like.

 

(*hug*) (*hug*)



Hang in there, buddy. I'm fairly confident that your mom didn't disown you.. She's trying to attract attention and is using psychopathic/sociopathic ploys to earn sympathy and manipulate you.


You've seen this tactic in action before, it's the same thing now.

So take what she says with a grain of salt, and ignore her for an extended period of time. Your lack of response will reinforce her to act differently, because she needs to know that her tactic is useless. And you haven't demonstrated that, and you need to be forthright in making that happen.


I can't promise that in the long run this will cause her to turn 180 and be a totally different person in how she interacts with you, but it seems to be the only real solution at this point in time.


As for her being a manipulative person, it's fair to say that we can't pretend that it's a character trait that could easily be changed. Quite the contrary. :icon_sad:


But this is not a dead end, nor should you perceive it that way.