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How to come out to Hindu parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by poofytop, Oct 18, 2012.

  1. poofytop

    Regular Member

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    Hello C:

    I'm kind of unsure of how I should come out to my parents, who are extremely religious and conservative south Indian Hindus. I'm in college right now [which is going amazingly well for me :grin:] and it got me thinking about my family. I don't want to keep hiding my sexual orientation from my parents, but I'm pretty sure if I came out to them and convinced them it's not a phase, they'd disown me [because of the reputation bisexuality has and because they believe bisexuality doesn't exist]. I kind of want to come out once I'm financially independent from them [they're paying for my college] but I feel like if I do that, they'll think I don't trust them and they'll be hurt.

    I was kind of out in high school, but not completely, since some of my classmates would have told my parents immediately. But in college, I'm completely out and very open about it. I'd love to be this out and open to my family, but they'd all disown and shun me if they knew. My cousin knows and totally accepts me, but he's sort of the liberal outcast of the family. Any of my other cousins would tell their parents right away.

    So, I guess my question is how and when should I come out to them?

    [I'm sorry, it's quite long and rambly D: ]
     
  2. Onyxknight

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    Is it possible they're the type to say, "We love you no matter what"? When I came out to my parents, I had my friend who I thought was my girlfriend with me (long story.) We stood in front of my dad and step-mom, hand-in-hand, and I said, "We're together." I think my dad's still in denial, but we've got bigger problems than my sexuality, lol. I was so nervous, I was sick to my stomach, but I got through it. For me, taking the plunge works best. I'd rather get it out of the way and deal with the consequences. My parent's weren't very religious, though, so I didn't have to fear being disowned. I honestly don't know how I'd deal with your situation. No matter how you go about it, though, I wish you luck. :thumbsup:
     
  3. poofytop

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    That's just the thing, I don't know how they'll react. It all comes down to their mood. If they're in a good mood, they'll try to understand me and react calmly. If they're in a bad mood, they'll disown me for sure. So, I guess I'll have to prepare for both reactions when I tell them, but I'm not sure when to tell them. I guess I'll sort of realize when the best time is when I get to it xD

    Thank you so much! I'll need all the luck I can get.
     
  4. TheEmWord

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    Out to everyone
    My gf is in a very similar situation to yourself. She is from a strict south Indian Hindu family also, but she works for the family business and is in line to inherit it once they retire, so she will never become financially independent of them! She is still in the closet and she is 30, but she does intend on coming out some day.

    Timing is everything with her family too, and I will support her 100% but I guess what I really want to say is Best of Luck!!!!