Hey so I have a bit of a question about determining whether a friend might be gay. So we met a couple years ago and initially whenever we used to talk about dating she would say "someone" never mention a guy(which I figured because she is mega gorgeous). Then one day she made a comment about something which reminded me of an ex boyfriend and from that day on it was never "someone" she just talked about guys. Ok then on top of that two of my friends were joking after class on day about going to pick up women and she said "can I join" and immediately covered up...what does this mean?? She is a runner too but more like competitive than for fun(like me), so she is much faster. And I want someone to help me with getting into half marathon and marathon shape. We haven't spoken for a few months(partly because I play it cool but I get so nervous around her). So two things should I ask her for help? and what do you think everything she has said means?
Well we see this thread a lot lol. My advice is consistent. You just have to take the initiative here. It would be nice if someone else could take the pressure off for you, but that's not the case apparently because all you have are signals. So! With that being said, why don't you just tell her you're gay or bi or confused. You can't worry about anyone else but yourself. If you need an "IN" then yes, ask her for help. If she's competitive, she'll want to spark the same in you and that can give you a foundation of a friendship to tell her other things about you.
I wouldn't say I am expert on this sign-reading, hidden message-reading of sexuality things. But she might be dropping hints, or exploring in her closet, or something. (Did you guys ever discuss sexuality at all?) Sorry that nobody sees this post. This forum get so many threads and posts every day XD
A problem that often occurs is that people get scared/nervous about telling others about their sexuality, instead they leave signals and drop hints, hoping that someone else will call them on it and start the conversation for them. I'm not saying that this is the case, but it's what I would do. Honey, I feel for you, and I wish I could tell you what to do, perhaps a heart to heart with her?
thanks for the comments! We have never discussed sexuality or anything maybe I should ask for help with the training and then see if it can't randomly be brought up somehow...would it be terrible to ask in a non-sober state? I know this is a busy thread and a pretty typical type question, but I really appreciate any and all help!
Well, I think it's important to keep in mind that if you broach this topic, you probably shouldn't be dropping the "I'm gay" and the "I like you" bombs at the same time. Start by establishing sexuality and then take things from there if you see fit. But like all relationships, don't rush/push anything. If she's a good runner and you need help with that, I see no reason why you shouldn't ask her for help. Sounds like a plan to me.
thanks for the advice! I sent a text today asking for help training and there's no response sooooo yea lol
