You probably know me from my past account, I created another because I lied about my age and stuff. So, it's been a wihle that I've had a crush on this boy. We used to flirt a lot, sort of joking most of the times. He came out once, I'm not sure what for, everyone though he was joking and days later he denied, saying he was joking. Sometimes he would just stare at my eyes all serious and cute, it was so amazing. Once we were at a sleepover and everyone was... well, sleeping, and he held my hand and then tried to touch my face like he was going to kiss me... but I backed off because I had a diarrhea (lol) and I was afraid someone would wake up. Once things were pretty intense. He would look at me all the time and I would get overly awkward and blush, it was pretty obvious. He noticed that and then came to me out of nowhere and said "look, what do you want?" in a overly cute way. I told him I wanted to go out and he invited me for cinema but turns out we didn't go. And then he was in a trip to Disney and he would call me on FB out of nowhere and say "I love you". Actually, things were pretty intense now... I think. The other day he called me in the middle of everyone and took me to a place where we'd be alone, and said something like "it might be too late if no one says anything now" out of nowhere and totally out of context lol. Turns out we didn't happen to be alone there, though. We have also been texting a lot the past few days, he told me he has a crush on someone (didn't specify gender) and I told him I had a crush on someone. OK. He totally haves a crush on me, right? Wrong. In the beggining of the year we went to a party and I got a bit drunk and I don't remember much, but the following week he would act super awkward with me and avoid me, he really seemed creeped out. A few weeks ago he told me he thought I was gay and I hit on him on that party (which makes a lot of sense) and that scared him off a lot. I laughed it off and said "maybe I am" or something like that. Also, it's not like he responded positively every single time I wanted something to happen. OK, not to the important part. Today we were at school and he told me he thought I was gayer than him. I found it funny. But then he told me he actually thought I was gay and that he was creeped out by that and wouldn't want me to be around him. Once more I laughed it off and said "maybe I am". He asked it a couple of times, same answer. But then he asked me in a serious tone "are you gay? answer it for real" and I was like "yea... no... ye... no, no no." or something like that, it was super awkward. He was like "I'm scared of you, back off... who's the GUY you have a crush on? huh?". Wasn't cool. I said "I was joking, it's not a guy..." and I was supper awkward about it. I'm not ready to come out at school yet, even though I might do it soon to my sister. It will be a big pain in the ass and I'll probably get some sort of depression or go completely crazy if he outs me in some way. I'm freaking out right now to be fair. He's being mean and scary. I guess it's my fault for crushing on him, though.
Given what you guys have done and said in the past, it seems as if he probably could be gay, but is having a hard time accepting it for himself. Since he feels that you are gay, he wants to distance himself from you since he doesn't want people thinking that he is gay as well at this time.
I'm with that. I mean, by what you said he did during that sleepover like holding your hand and stuff, sounds like he is curious or something. Some people act differently when surrounded by other, try talking to him in private maybe?
If you're not one to read long passages, let's phrase this in two words: "Closet Case." From what information you gave, he is most likely gay, and just not wanting anybody else to know.
But how can I talk to him in private without outing myself? Plus if the subject is mentioned in any way I'll feel pressioned and get all awkward, blush and won't really be able to hide it. And thanks a lot for replying, the three of you.
Do you have his phone number, or are you his FB friend? You may be able to arrange a meeting in a private place. If he's avoiding you and says he is creeped out because you're gay, does it matter if you come out to him? It doesn't sound like it could hurt your current relationship considering how rediculously he's acting. I agree that he's likely a closet case trying to avoid any suspicions. If he's truly concerned about that, I don't think he would out you considering you guys used to hang out, although there is always a possibility. Sadly, I think the best remedy for him is time. It takes longer for some to accept themselves. I know it took me quite a while. Good luck trying to sort this out. I know it's not easy. On a side note, don't feel bad about crushing on him or think you're to blame. One of the obstacles all gays must overcome is the fact that we are a minority, and when it comes to finding love, we're going to trip over a few hurdles. Whether you crush on someone who's straight or simply isn't interested, you have to learn not to blame yourself for having these feelings and pick yourself back up!
To get things worse, today he told me he thinks the guy I have a crush on is my best friend (who I've known since I was 3) and he actually believes there's a thing between the two of us, LOL. Or believed. I told him it was crazy and he was the one acting gay by thinking like that and he apologized and I guess things are back to normal... just... colder. I'm not sure I want to be with him anymore... oh, who am I kidding, of course I do - he's cute and awwwwww. But I feel like I should distance myself from him a bit, at least in some sort of way he can feel it. Am I doing it right?
Well, if things are getting back to normal, I'd say keep doing what you're doing. I'd say give it a while before you bring up any of this again. Since you're still in your early teens (and I'm assuming he is, too) you both will go through quite a bit of maturing these next few years, and he might be ready to talk to you like a real human being. lol
I'm confused. Today, in the middle of the class, he held my hand for a while in a pretty cute way and told me, a bit jokingly, that he REALLY liked me and that he was sad that I told him I wasn't gay and he actually thought there was a thing between us. So what the hell. Wasn't he creeped out???????????????? I'm so confused
Wow! To be honest, he sounds like a basket case. If you think he's truly worth it and he's just going through a tough time accepting things, you can try to talk to him again, but I don't know. I hate to be the Devil's advocate here, but could he just be trying to out you? Although, now that I think about it, it seems unlikely. If that was the case and he was homophobic, he probably wouldn't hold your hand like that. I'm not sure what to tell you. Maybe if you could confront him in a private setting and just say, "Look, what's going on?" he might be more responsive. As mentioned before, he might just be scared and not want anyone to know he's gay, yet. If you do decide to give him a chance, just be cautious. Maybe time will help this all simmer down a bit.
I'm with that advice again, I don't think there is something with asking him in private. Somebody needs to confront the subject that way, If one wants things to change I guess, you don't even need to be direct about it, I mean, asking "Look, what's going on?" doesn't necessarily imply you are asking "Hey, you are in love with me or something?". One good tip is to try to give him confidence to speak with you about it, look him in the eyes and don't be nervous or try to don't seem, or you will make him nervous as well. If you can't stare him directly in the eyes, look at his mouth or nose, people usually don't notice that and you won't receive the additional "pressure" of staring him in the eyes or something. Don't expect too much, he might back off completely!
