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Help me out with my adolescent lesbian issues

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by sol4r, Oct 18, 2012.

  1. sol4r

    sol4r Guest

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    Okay, so I'm in love with my best friend. She and I dated for a while, but she broke up with me because she felt the relationship was getting serious. Recently we've gone back to being best friends, because honestly, she's one of the only people I know of that I can talk to about anything and I feel like she understands me better than anyone else and we have the same sense of humor and have deep meaningful conversations and talk about our pasts and our issues and she's one of the only people I trust. But for all of those reasons, I have really strong feelings for her. She's beautiful in every way possible, and the exact type of person I would like to seek a long-term relationship with. Hell, she's the type of girl I could see myself like starting a family with one day. I know there'll be other people, but a lot of the time it seems like she really is the only one for me. And I think she cares about me romantically at least a little bit, but she's really scared of relationships, and telling her about my feelings wouldn't be a wise decision on my part.
    And then there's this other girl who has really strong feelings for me, and has pursued a relationship with me multiple times. I'll admit, even though it was a terrible decision on my part, we've kissed/made out a few times (which in the moment was entirely justified in my hormone-riddled brain), which has made her contact me CONSTANTLY about dating her, and how she "loves me" and how I'm the "perfect girl for her" and she sends me songs that remind her of me and it's starting to freak me out like a lot. She's also really depressive, and has been cutting herself a lot over me and talks about being suicidal because I don't want to date her.
    What do I do about these girls??
     
  2. Cassandra

    Regular Member

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    Well,

    ---------- Post added 18th Oct 2012 at 05:50 PM ----------

    Well, it's not a "lesbian issue", I mean, you are through the same predicament as any other person (straight or gay).

    The thing is, you're on the classic position:

    A -> You -> B

    But

    B -/-> You -/-> A

    So, you have both sides of the matter. That means, you have the privilege to see both sides, before making a choice. While you have an unrequited love, you also have an unrequited lover.

    It would be irresponsible for me to "directing" you on a "right course of action" (since there is none), so I have to limitate to give you some hint: look your feelings for that other girl. If you really don't want to have anything but friendship with her, explain that to her. People may seem closed at times, but sometimes they understand better.

    On the other hand, your friend may not see you as a serious "potential" partner, because she's affraid. It's common. It's also common to be genuinely not interested in you but only as a friend. I think you're on a position where it's not posible to know just yet. If you give her more time, maybe she loose the fear, and opens to you.

    So the only hint I can give is: wait, and be patient. And observe. As you say, it may be not wise to tell her your feelings just yet. So wait.

    I'm sorry if I can't be of more help than this, but the only true answer is, that everyone finds their own answer. Maybe if you wait, she'll respond, but who knows? maybe if you're sincere she may respond too. Different people find different answers to their problems.

    Sorry, and hope all goes well with your friend!!!


    ---[Sorry for the double post].