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Soo before.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Fox1991, Oct 18, 2012.

  1. Fox1991

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    I posted something about my coming out experience and how bad it was in case you dont know. I came out to my mother 3 years ago and her reaction was horrible. She not only wanted to kick me out but shoot me with a shotgun and if I was dating a guy she would shoot him too. I have been severly alter by the stress and changed my ways of living. Shortly after I told her I would try dating girls again, which I didnt. A year went by and I finally sat down and told her I walk out that door and you never hear from me again or you accept it either way I dont give a flying fuck anymore you have a week to decide before I disappear for forever. A couple days pass and she accepted it, come to find out my aunt yelled at her. She lost a daughter from a terminal illness and died not to long ago and she flipped. But I feel anger towards my mother to this very day I want nothing more then to trip her down some stairs from all the pain and alterations to my personality due to her. I suffer from depression all the time I have contemplated suicide so much in my life I lost count after 50 times, and its like she acted like nothing ever happened. I really dont know if I can forgive this time, she has done so much that I cant get my old happy self back and all I am is angery or empty I dont know what it is and I just am aggiated by it. And I have gone back into a depression mode now.
     
  2. Dayon

    Dayon Guest

    You might want to see a therapist to seek proper help as this can get worst overtime. Although I understand your situation all I can really advise you to do is stay strong & try to stay positive.
     
  3. Crazyguy

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    Sorry to hear your coming out experience was so negative. Hopefully your aunt talked some sense in to your Mom. Try to let go of the feelings of anger you have because that anger is hurting you not her. If you can, talk to someone close about the anger you're feeling. It is not good to bottle it up so let it out and then try to move on.

    A part of me feels sorry for your Mom. She has obviously not learned what unconditional love is and that is likely because of her own upbringing and past experiences. Try to let go of the anger and give her a chance to make it right now that she has accepted your sexuality. I'm sure it will take time but at least she has taken the first step even if she had to be convinced by your aunt.
     
  4. Fox1991

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    And what makes it weird is like about 5 years ago she asked if I was I said no cause I was scared. She said she would be cool with it then she went through kemo and fucking flipped. Even though I was there to help her and shit and she just wouldnt allow it.
     
  5. burg

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    i think she could be going though her own emotional issues to.after having cancer when i was 12.i found it real hard to show sympathy for people i still do a bit. not that i dont care. but i was and still a bit angry that my family and friends didn't recognize what i was going though.my mum would call me a pervert and say i had a victim complex tho i never ever talked but my emotions cancer or my sexuality.and i think discovering your gay and having cancer would safely put me in the victim category.i used to hold a massive hatred to her.but after not seeing her for years i kind of feel pity for her.i think she realised she had fucked up.when the rest of my family got missing persons looking for me after a few years.she tryed blame my brother for me running away because he went to jail but was told by every one it was her fault.being young how your parents treat you has a massive impact.i really don't care what she thinks these days. i think i just see her for what she is.my hatred towards her has gone. i think keeping a good distance from her helped it might do for you to.any ways big hugs man don't let people like that opinions count for any thing.
     
  6. Fox1991

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    yeah but when you are almost put out on the streets, after you helped her go through so much. I just snapped. I have been through a lot of shit. I mean a loooooooooot of shit and its like really, really? After all the shit we been through after all the love and pain we went through you wanna do this shit. She acts like nothing happened like the physical and verbal fights never happened (mind you I never defened myself in any of those fights). I am just so angry its like I was happy at one point until she just didnt want me anymore after coming out. I never been so angry in my life where I have held a grudge.
     
  7. burg

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    do you see her much now bo its prob just me being a flighter but id keep away alot i dont know if thats good advice tho .but being round people like that drive me nuts .is your engineering going good. i can finnaly weld good.still dont have my welding tics tho.