I just want to start off by saying I'm new to this forum and well... forums in general. I'm joining it because I have been struggling back and forth and all over the place about who I am and which way I orient towards. I could really use some help even if it only answers a couple questions, and I really appreciate any help you can offer. I am almost 100% certain that I am MtF trans and that if I could change anything in my life with the wave of a wand, it would be my gender. What I'm really confused about is which way I am oriented. The problem I feel I am having is that I don't go one way or the other, or even both ways fully. I like girls, I can get turned on by girls, but I don't get turned on unless they are wearing clothes, the clothes are actually a huge factor. I always have to use a specific girl in my fantasies, but I have to become that girl. I always have to have a guy in my fantasies, but the guy is almost never specific, usually just an entity with male parts. I've never been turned on my a guy before, I can tell when a guy is better looking than most, and I do get the urge to take a glance whenever I get the chance, but I'm never turned on. With guys the clothes have absolutely no factor and I would rather see a guy naked over a girl, but I still don't get turned on. A lot of the time I feel like I wouldn't enjoy sex with anyone, and my fantasies are just there for a release. I feel like I'm more attracted to the idea of being a girl, not so much the girl I'm pretending to be. I'm really not sure where this puts me. For the longest time I thought I was gay, then I expanded on that maybe thinking I was bi. A few times I felt like I was just straight. Lately I have been thinking I could be asexual. I'm sorry this ran on so long, but I appreciate anyone who has the time to read it all. P.S. I've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend or even been on a date. I never had any motivation, nor do I have any now, to try dating.
Welcome to the EC This is the perfect place to learn about yourself and to take time to listen to your feelings. No rush in deciding just yet. Read about how others found out they are Transgender. It will give you a better feel on what your thinking. Again Welcome(*hug*)
Welcome! Sure, I get turned off unless they are wearing cloths What if, you were to be that girl ( I mean, being that girl completely) with him? Time would reveal slowly, stick with patience. (*hug*)
Thanks a lot for the replies and the welcomes ^^ I think about this quite a lot actually, I often feel like if I were completely female that I would enjoy being the girlfriend to a guy (I'm not sure if that means as a girl I'd be attracted to guys or if it's just a fantasy of living the life of a normal girl). I'm wondering if maybe the reason I'm not attracted to guys, but fantasize about them is because my mind is female and straight, but being in a male body the hormones are leaning me towards girls?
But, cis gay men also have, male body and hormones, right. They also should lean towards girls, if your reason to be true, do they?
I really couldn't say. I don't know what makes someone's sexual orientation what it is, but I have heard stories from some trans women who say they became more attracted to men after undergoing HRT.
Hey, welcome to EC =) I can relate quite a bit to your having a difficult time understanding your sexual orientation. First of all, I think there are nearly equal amounts of heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual MtF transsexuals. From the statistics I've seen, its a relatively even split. I can relate to this. Girls actually kind of tend to get less attractive for me when they are naked, where as guys have the exact opposite interaction with clothes =P I'm not really sure what exactly that means for either of though. Here's been my experience. I don't find guys attractive right off the bat. I really didn't feel attracted to my ex-bf at first, but after I got to know them and everything, eventually I did find him attractive. I know I can like being with guys, but it doesn't happen all that often. They either need to be very attractive, or I need to have a romantic interest in them. Regardless, I love being with a man because of how feminine it makes me feel. The most important thing to me in a relationship/the bedroom is being able to be treated like a girl. Girls on the other hand, I do typically find attractive, but not in an "I want to be have sex with you" way, more in a "you make me jealous and angry that I'm not you, but I still would like to cuddle and be best friends with you." =/ Needless to say, its rather complex, but I'm not worried about labeling my sexuality while I'm transitioning, I'm just going to go with the flow for a little while longer, and embrace whatever happens. I have heard that hormones can effect your sexual attractions as well. I hope I do get a little clarity out of it, though in all honesty I can see myself being a lot more likely to enjoy being with a girl after hormones. I think it would be far too masculinizing and dysphoric to be with a girl in a male body, but if I looked feminine and was treated like a girl I might actually be able to enjoy it.
Hi there, and welcome to EC! Why not just say: "I'll stay open minded for now, and see where my feelings lead me." From your posts it seems that you already have some clues here and there. Take your time in figuring things out. Listen to your instincts or to what 'feels right to you' and take it from there. It will probably take a bit of time to figure it all out, but you'll get there. Keep in mind that attractions can come in different forms. We can have emotional attachments as well as physical attractions in varying degrees to different people. Sometimes, it is a matter of sifting through the feelings and understanding them better.
