hello hello. I am quite unsure of a few things. Like, while I would generally feel inclined to consider myself gay, I often go through periods of questioning myself. Like, am I gay, maybe bi, or maybe asexual, or perhaps I'm just lonely. I've told 4 people, 3 girls, 1 guy, that I think I might like guys. One girl I don't talk to much at all, but the other two I hang out with. However, we don't talk about it. Its more like, well yeah, we don't talk about it. I tried once, but it was sorta like -umm dont look at me-i wouldnt know-...kinda response. I'd like to have a more-or-lesss fairly stable image of how I view myself. Let me give off some thoughts for my confusion: Gay: I like guys; that is I notice them more than girls. I watch gay porn. I know for sure that I have a physical attraction to guys. I'd be interested in having a boyfriend. Bi: seems unlikely, but I also find some girls to be attractive and in general to be actually more approachable than guys. Also, I was talking to the guy I told about it and I said that I had crushes on 2-3 girls in elementary/middle school, and he asked me if I was sure I was gay. We were talking about when we knew we were into guys (he's gay btw). I'm not sure if I've ever had a crush on a guy; at least my attractions to guys so far have been less intense as my middle-school crush on a girl. But that might be because I didn't consider the possibility to falling in love with a guy til fairly recently. Asexual: I don't think I'm as into sex as other guys are. I haven't/ don't get "hot" when I look at an attractive guy. Sometimes down there gets a little interested, but its not like a full hard-on if thats what people mean by "hot". When I see a cute or cool good-looking guy, I might get the desire to hug him, sometimes fantasize about cuddling. I think I'd really like to cuddle with a guy. Not sure if that really supports this, but whatever. Also, my sex drive isn't very high. I mean getting off once a day is slightly a bit too much. It's not that pleasant. I get horny maybe every 2-4 days. It doesn't seem to be a lot compared with other guys my age. Lonely: I have few friends. Pretty much only 1 left in the area. Maybe, actually, I know that I want a friend(s). This could be exacerbating things too. Its been rather recently that I could I accept that I could be gay. I wish that meant things were easy but I'm still not sure. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not straight as a line hah, Anyways, your feedback and responses are greatly appreciated.
Hi quicksplash, If you had a few crushes on girls when you were younger but none to date and no crushes on guys but sexual feelings towards guys I think it's safe to say that you at least lean towards guys. Your sex drive does seems low but you are interested in having a boyfriend so there is a possibility that you could be homosexual grey-A or like a Kinsey 5-5.5 grey-A; but only you can put a label on how you feel. Remember you're only 19 so you've still loads of time in your life to meet people and see how you feel about them romantically and sexually.
Relax, you're completely fine and normal. If I had to take a guess based on what you've said, I would say you are most likely gay. I wouldn't look too much into what you were interested in way back in elementary/middle school. What's more important and valid is what you are attracted to now as an adult, which seems to be men for the most part. As for your sex drive, it sounds fine. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you need to be highly sexual. Some people are and others simply aren't. I very rarely get aroused in public, even though I see many hot guys, it's just not the time or place for that kind of thing, so don't worry about not getting one. Jacking off once a day is quite a bit and not for everyone. Some guys like to do it frequently and others every few days. Whatever you do is completely normal for you and there's nothing wrong with that.
