Why is me coming out always about the other person? Friend - do you know what this will do to your parents? Sister - do you understand that I'm very hurt you didn't tell me sooner? Friend - do you realize how telling your sister is going to affect me? Do you think she will ask me or assume? (he is also is gay and extremely closeted) Friend - how could you do this to me? I'm sorry, I forgot me coming out was all about them... Needless to say except my sister I faded the other "friends" out of my life. Is this a usual type of response?:bang:
Well, the answer to your question is yes and no. Some people will make your coming out about them, some will make your coming out about you. If you go to the Coming Out section and read some of the stories there, you'll realize people get all sort of answers when they're coming out. Some of them are hateful, some of them are angry, some of them are selfish, but fortunately, a lot of them are empathetic too. That's not because some people in your life didn't answer to your coming out the way you would have liked that it means nobody will take the time to ask you how you're doing. And sometimes, the best answers to a coming out come from the people you would have the least expected to. But there is one thing to remember : you're coming out for yourself, not for other people. And no matter how disappointing some answers you get are, every coming out is still a step forward. Take care, Cécile
The majority of the time that I have come out it has been about the other person and it really hurts. I tend to forgive the people for their initial reaction because I usually catch them very off guard. It is how they act in the following days and weeks that really makes a difference. I mean my mom once told me that she thought she and my dad had done something wrong to make me gay. Now they are completely supportive. It is a really long road, but as Eleanor Rigby said every time you come out it is a step forward. I have never regretted coming out to someone and it always makes me feel better even if it isn't immediately.
I think everyone wants to get attention. They say those things and yet most don't realize the pain and fear we go through. My sister is the first one to say thank you for coming out to me and she really tried to understand me.
