Hello, I'm joining naval jr rotc at my high school, hopefully next week. My friends who know I am gay when they found just looked at me like "Really?" I have gotten a bit of support, not that I really need it, but I can't help but feel like turning away from it now. I've wanted to join for the past two years but never had the schedule space for it until now. It's just,a few People who know I'm gay are in rotc. And at the rate I'm going with my mouth, more people in it will know, and some of them I know in there are really mean and prejudice. I will not keep quiet about myself, If I am asked, I will tell you. But should I keep quiet while I'm in there for safety sake? I don't want my life to be ruled by something like sexuality. Should I go ahead and do it? Or should I just keep on going and drop the idea.. Thanks.
Well, I think you have to ponder things. For example, if you accept yourself as gay but also accept that your orientation is just a simple part of your life, you may keep silent about that, if tellign will suppose "free trouble" to you. On the other hand, hidding it will bring back that old load that you lifted when came out, so that may be a con more than a pro. I'd say that if I were in your position, I'll keep shut (personally, I have no pride for what I am, but also no shame, just means I can be attratcted by more individuals than just femmes)since I don't need to go telling everyone what I am. But, of course, that's what I think I'll do. Just remember before making a choice, that you should take into account how much you want to be there, and if the trouble of being out will ruin that experinece, or if keeping shut will be more stress than a solution. There's a lot of factors to consider.
I would go ahead with it. It will be hard to deal with and I myself need to make a choice like this. If you really want to I would and I would still stay true to yourself. As long as you uphold your values everything you do is right.
I don't think you should in NO WAY hide who you are and like yourself if people ask I tell them. I'm not saying flaunt yourself. I hope you understand that. If you're comfortable telling them and feel the need to do go ahead and do it but in the end you have to make a decision that you can live with and one that feels right and that you're CONFIDENT about.
Hi there! As Cassandra mentioned, you have to weigh the pros and cons of being out while being in the rotc. If you know that there are a couple to a few people in rotc that might make your life difficult after they find out, it would be one reason for you to consider not to be as open about yourself as you were before. It sounds like that you have been really looking forward to joining and being a part of it. It would be too bad of that experience would be ruined by a few people. That said, ask yourself: how would I feel not being as open about myself, if asked? If I do come out, and continue being as open about myself as I have been, would I be able to deal with the few people who are prejudiced and mean?
Thanks y'all! Well, I've thought about it. I am joining. I am going to keep quiet, but at the same time not be in the closet, ya know what I mean? the people that I know in there are very defensive of me and would have my back, One is in the highest position in there. I have been wanting to do this for years. What makes me any different than if I would have joined when I was in the closet years ago anyway. Thanks guys
Great to read you have decided to join, and that there are people in there that would support you 100%! Have a great time!
I think you are making the right decision JVN........As you said, if you dont need to flaunt it then dont,......but if they do ask, then do tell!!!!!!:eusa_danc I am of the thought that there are many downsides to flaunting it,..........and many upsides to NOT flaunting it.....unfortunately, we still live in a society that imposes 'costs' to those who come out, and I can only assume the military is one that may have a cost, with it..........so I think your approach is the correct one..... Good luck son, and I ALWAYS tell someone in our country's uniform, THANK YOU FOR SERVING THIS GREAT COUNTRY WE LIVE IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eusa_clap
If it is what you think is best it is the best decision for you. I wish you the best and are happy to hear there are others that have your back.
I haven't read what everyone else wrote. I'm going to make my immediate response based on the question asked. Part of what's been hard about me accepting myself is thinking that if people find out about me, I won't be accepted amongst the people that also participate in what's considered a "straight" activity. . .that if I finally decide to tell people - that I have to give up everything I've ever known and start doing stereotypical gay activities. I've begun explaining to myself that in the same way I always knew who I was in that I like the company of men is the same way that you always knew you wanted to do NJROTC. We like what we like. Who you are is your business. Your orientation doesn't have anything to do with NJROTC and NJROTC doesn't have anything to do with your orientation. If someone makes it a point to say something, just remind yourself of that while responding politely. That's all you can do.
Man I love this site and all of you in it. It does not matter who I am, If I want to do something I want to, Then I will do it. I hate alot of stereotypical gay things, But Now that I'm out I feel like I' supposed to like them, Screw that, I like what I like, and I'll do what I want to do. Thanks you guys.
You will definitely make some waves in the Navy by being out. The repeal of DADT is recent, and a lot of bigots are still in the military. An officer in the Army told me (off the record) that, "women and minorities have no place in the military." Check this story out, and more power to you: U.S. Navy Submarine Hazing Sparked By Gay Jokes, Homosexuality
